Many years before I was in 3rd grade of high school. I remember that I was in the first course of all grades (it was from course A to H). I wasn’t happy because almost all of my best friends were on the B course. But I wasn’t allowed to change to that course, so I had to get it over and stayed in my original course.

There were only three girls; Fernanda, Jude, and me; Rooney. The other kids (boys) there, I knew them since 1rst grade, and I hated some of them, mostly Geronimo. He was my worst nightmare; he always made fun of me and called me things like Dwarf, Gnome, and even more. He was a pain in the ass.

Anyways, I usually talked to my other friends, but I didn’t trust the other girls because I didn’t know them. I remember that I made a great friendship with one of the boys, his name was Adolph, he was very nice, kind and polite. We used to do homework together.

Some people must think that I was in love with him, but I wasn’t, he was only my friend. Then Jude came to us, and I realized that she was a good person and she likes me, you know as a friend. And indeed, she became my best friend at that time.

Thinking about that, I remember that I was in a kind of a mess with a boy, Neil. I was only 15 and I was obsessed with him. He used to go to my house and when nobody was there, we kissed and touched each other; we really touched some body parts of ourselves that nobody touched before. And we almost had sex, but we didn’t do it because I stopped him, I wasn’t ready. Then, I told Jude what was happening between Neil and me, and she wasn’t happy. She didn’t say anything about that, just one thing, “He doesn’t deserve you”. I couldn’t be more agreeing.

Since that day we became close, and I always told her all about me; my problems, my issues… I used to go to her house with Adolph, we’ve become inseparable, and we always did things together. She usually was relaxed in high school; she didn’t pay attention when people talked about her behind her back. I recalled one day when Adolph and I went to her house; she was happy about that, and we were even happiest. We sat on the sofa to watch a movie when suddenly Adolph told us that he needed the bathroom. She shows him where it was, and let him there. It was so quick that I can barely stop her.

She said: “I want to kiss you”, and I said: “No, you don’t. Don’t do it”. And suddenly she came to me and put her lips over mine, and I couldn’t do anything. She was laughing, and I was so surprised that I didn’t say anything. That was the first time that I was kissed by a girl. The next thing I knew then was that I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to her. The only thing that I knew at that moment was that I wanted to kiss her back no matter what. We saw each other every single day and everything came to normality. She always was touching my hand, sitting next to me, inviting me to her house, and kissing me.

I wasn’t pretty good at kissing, but she showed me how to do it well. There was a time when I spent hours on the telephone talking with her. In the middle of the scholar year, we should be in two different groups for one subject: carpentry. She was in the first group, and I was in the second group. This change didn’t bother me at all, I had to think about what I was doing, and also there was Neil, who was always in my house, kissing me, touching me. Actually, I told her that I was with Neil yet, because I loved to saw her jealous.

In only two weeks she spoke with the teacher, telling him that he worked with Fernanda the last year and it would be nice if he took me in his group and sent Fernanda to the other teacher. In fact, Fernanda was very, very happy with the change, she hated teacher Rivers. So, when the teacher called me and told me about the change, I couldn’t deny myself, so I said yes. Jude was jumping with happiness and I was so… what was that feeling? Oh, yes, I was in shock, but I was also happy.

I remember that we used to make excuses to go to the shop to get some tools, but what we always did was making out. We kissed in that shop so many times, I remember it as it was yesterday. But then, everything went bad. We were finishing the year and she took Science and I took Arts (this was a thing we had to do in high school). I thought that she would call me on vacation, but she didn’t, and I was so hurt that I took the signs as if we were breaking up. That vacation I was summoned to surgery, and when I tried to call her, his mother told me she was out of the city.

I was sad and angry. When the new scholar year came, she came to me, but I ignored her. I didn’t talk to her anymore and we finished our friend-relationship.

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See you soon, Bianca!