The future comes quickly, this present is a dagger

Hello, I don't write much because my will has escaped me with my life. I didn't think a breakup would cause such a major collapse in my chest, a real pain caused by the lack of my love. It is inexplicable how I feel good and suddenly that immense pain collapses me like a house of cards. It's incredible how the lack of a person so loved can be like death itself. I never thought about dying, those suicidal ideas are not for me, I am not brave enough to hurt myself. But I thought this love broke my heart so hard that it would kill me. I can't believe how the body of flesh, blood and organs endures such stress and lack of a hug.

The other night my poodle dog scratched and I thought it was my love trying to get into bed. What a terrible disappointment! That's how it happens to me, I dream and wake up ruined. I manage to have good days, but this absolute loneliness makes the terrors of life sinister. There is nothing to do, nowhere to go, or anyone to talk to, since I just want to see her, talk to her. A single "hello" would change my darkness into an incandescent light of happiness. But it's been so long I thought I'd forget her. He reasoned that it was bad, that it was not good to spend time with her.

It was best to forget everything and leave everything as it was, but nothing helps, nothing gives me peace in this scary story. I can't see anyone and I despise women, I don't want anyone else in my life. I don't see their faces or bodies, neither on the street, nor on the networks. This pain is enough for this evil race that I do not hesitate to kill myself while I am alive and leave me on an artificial respirator, since my body does not know how to continue living. Pain, pain, pain. This is my day to day life. I was happy and I didn't know it. It's been 90 days and it seems like it was today. This is how the life of a heartbroken man changes.