Embarrassing.... A valuable Lesson

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Embarrassment is when a projected image of oneself is exposed. In society people project an image and try to act in accordance with that image. I may desire to project an image of myself as a wealthy person. I will wear expensive clothing and jewelry, drive an expensive car, live in an expensive house and donate flamboyantly to charities. In this way others will see me as a wealthy person.

If I run into financial difficulties, a large investment collapses and I am having difficulty paying my bills. I may want to try to keep this a secret. But if it is exposed and the house is foreclosed it is very embarrassing. Others see that image was unreal. A show only. Sometimes people take to substance abuse to deal with the emotional pain. They may seek a spiritual path to get answers as to why this has happened to them. They become confused about who they actually are.

Such an embarrassment if it is severe enough can be a great blessing. There are many accounts of people who lost everything and took up spiritual life. They became peaceful and happy. No more projected image to work hard to maintain. No more so-called friends always eager for a handout and no more enemies trying to steal a piece of the business territory. The temporary nature of this life becomes very, very clear and they no longer wish to put any effort into a temporary show.

This is my story:
I tried and tried to project an image. An intelligent student. Ready to take on an education and make my presence known academically. And indeed I was a good student. Headed for college. Mathematics my field of study. I loved solving puzzles that had definite answers. 1+1=2 was a security for me and I was good at trigonometry, geometry, algebra.

But in college I ran into a problem. One day in abstract algebra class with which deals with set theory the professor presented, in her broken English, she was from India, that 0 and 1 are actually undefined. O is unlimited and 1 contains unlimited parts. They don't really exist. It is theory only. And that there is no such thing as a straight line. She challenged "Try drawing a straight line and then look at it under a microscope." She went on to present that there is difference between mathematical theory and its application in this world. In theory it is pure but in application it is not.

When she spoke like that my whole world collapsed. I had found my shelter in mathematics because of its concrete nature. But here she had shattered that. Any hope of me maintaining an image of a knowledgeable person, intelligent and scholarly was gone. I became very confused about myself and my goals in life. My projected image had disappeared. I was embarrassed by my situation and found it difficult to study anything. I began questioning "Who am I? What is this world? What is real? Is anything permanent?"

It became so intense that I turned to marijuana for some relief. At least with the drug I had an illusion of reality and self. I see now that it was no coincidence that the person who shattered my projected image was from India, the land of mystics and sages.

That was many years ago. I have visited India a few times and am becoming more and more free of projecting an image of myself or another way to say it is "identifying the self with temporary designations..

It is an embarrassment that needs to happen in order to get rid of this tendency to project an image and becoming trapped by it. It is the most important thing for anyone who desires spiritual life.

link to contest: https://steemit.com/hive-107855/@hive-107855/6vevpa-contest-the-keyword-of-the-week-wettbewerb-das-schluesselwort-der-woche

invitations to participate: @shantoislam @ridoy86 @atomic01