Why They Said I'm Insaned?

Isa sa pinakamasakit na karanasan sa buhay ko noong isa sa pinaka malapit na kaibigan ko, tinawag akong baliw. Kung sino pa yong minahal kong kaibigan ay siya pa ang magasasabi da akin ng ganun.
Nasaktan ako ng labis ngunit naisip ko ito ay dahil sa kakaiyak ko palagi .

Ang tanong ko, bakit nila ako huhusgahan na na hindi nila alam ang tunay na dahilan sa aking nararamdaman? Hindi nila alam bakit ako ay madaling maiyak. Sapat na ba na dahilan para ako ay tawagin na sira ulo dahil sa ugali kong iyakin?

Sa halip na ako ay magagalit, ginawa ko lahat na panghuhusga nila , ipinakita ko sa kanila na ako ay hindi baliw, ipinakita ko sa kanila na magaling ako sa ibat ibang larangan. Ngunit minsan bigo ako dahil pag nagmamahal ka pala sa isang tao minsan maging tolero tayo.

Naging totoong parang mukhang baliw na ako dahil ako ay nagmamahal sa isang tao na walang pagmamahal sa akin. Itinago ko ang damdamin ko at walang kahit na sino ang nakakaalam sa pagmamahal ko at nagmukhang tanga ako. Mahirap pala ang pag-big na isa lang ang nagmamahal.

Ilang taon akong nag-iisa at ako pa ay bata noon . Hindi ako nagmamahal . lahat sa pamilya ko at anak nakatoon ang aking pagmamahal. Ngunit bigla akong umibig ng palihim. Lihim na itinago ko at naging dahilan ako ay nagmumukhang baliw na baliw. Ito yong totoong kabaliwan.

Salamat at nakayanan ko ang tinatago kong pagmamahal. Hanggang ngayon walang nakakaalam ngunit alam ko na dalhin ang sarili ko na hindi magmukhang tolero at baliw. Kumuha ako ng lakas para ako ay hindi magiging hangal at tanga para hindi na nila ako huhusgahan na ay isang insaned na babae.

English Translation

One of the most painful experiences in my life was when one of my closest friends called me insaned. The friend I loved would have called me that. I was hurt a lot but I thought it was because I always cried many times.

My question is, why would they judge me when they don't know the real reason for my feelings? They don't know why I cry easily. Is that reason enough for them to call me insane because of my habit of crying?

Instead of getting angry, I did everything they judged me for, I showed them that I was not crazy, I showed them that I was good in different fields. But sometimes I was disappointed because when I loved someone, sometimes I was feeling crazy and maybe they were right that I was insaned.

It became really like I looked crazy because I was in love with someone who didn't love me. I hid my feelings and no one knew about my love and I looked stupid. It's hard to love someone who don't loves me in return. I was alone for a very long years and I was still young became a widow. I didn't love again. I focused in my family and only child whom I gave my love. But suddenly I fell in love secretly. I hid it secretly and it made me look crazy. This is true madness and insane.

Thank you and I was able to cope up with the love I was hiding. Until now, no one knows it . And I knew how to carry myself without looking tolerant and crazy. I gained strength so that I wouldn't be stupid and foolish so that they wouldn't judge me as an insane woman anymore

That's my experienced being tagged as insaned woman and lately, I happened to me. Don't worry, I am now in good shape with the help of God, I overcome all those hurts and heartbreak moment happened.

Inviting @jurich60, @sarimanok and @diosarich to be back in steem!

Thank you everyone!

Steem On!

@olivia08