This doesn't suit him at all!
==> This doesn't suit my picture of him/her at all!
RE: Surprises Don’t Surprise Me
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Surprises Don’t Surprise Me
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Either way, you get surprises... Like what the heck...
Why these deviations all of the sudden. You have an equation with a certain someone, an unsaid agreement, a kind of mutual understanding, and poof, everything is gone, vanished and there is this new behaviour, attitude or whatever. Why? Why on earth?
I agree character is not monolithic. And I can expect a certain degree of deviation or variation in behaviour. I accept it. But what if there is whole new composition of the crystal... What you once thought was a diamond turned out to be only coal!
Apologies for this rant, I'm
surprisedshocked with some deviations, arbitrariness or whatever you call this from some people in real life...Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
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I thought back and forth five times about what I could say in response - or whether it might be better to keep quiet altogether.
There are a lot of explanations on this topic, entire books that deal with communication in relation to philosophy and psychology. The most important questions that are asked are: What is a human being? Who am I?
If you can answer these, then you are divine enough to be able to say to another person on a moral level: This deviation from your previous behaviour is unacceptable. (On a moral level, that is, on a level of values that can apply universally. After all, we are not talking about breaches of contract in the legal sense here, nor are we talking about educational behaviour towards children. However, only values that are independent of, for example, religious beliefs or other conditions that one's own person or the other person in question could escape can be generally applicable).
The whole thing is a big issue, a really big question, and answering it with ‘But I want it to be viewed in such and such a way’ misses the point by far.
In order to shorten this in a possible (but rarely successful) way, it is necessary to ask the person whose behaviour suddenly deviates greatly from my expectations: Why? What is going on? How are you feeling?
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
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Thank you for taking the time to reply thoughtfully, rather than just giving a quick response for the sake of it. I really appreciate that.
Your explanation is logical and, ideally, it should guide my response to that particular person. However, the reality is often more complex. There are power dynamics, jealousy (which I’m almost certain is at play), and the person’s ill nature, where they can't seem to handle someone else being in a position of privilege. Given this background, asking if they’re okay feels hypocritical to me, because I know they’d go to any length to damage my reputation and pull me down.
And why do I even care? Because sometimes, you simply can’t avoid them. For example, they might be at your workplace, where you have to interact with them to avoid gossip or because you’re just tired of their tantrums. This often happens because they hold a position of power.
Let me simplify it for you: imagine your boss gets transferred to a new place, and you’re taking over their role. They’re no longer feeling 'special,' but they have to stay for another month or two at the same place where you’re replacing them. That’s when they start acting jealous, spiteful, and manipulative. Everything you do is seen as having an attitude.
In this scenario, do I want to ask them how they’re feeling? Hell no. I already know what they’re feeling. They can gossip, try to malign or taint my reputation all they want. I’ll keep my silence and not give them anything to gossip about. That’s the best strategy I can come up with.
Oh it's becoming an other rant ;))))
You can skip to answer this :)))
Thank you for your time though. I know you are busy with shifting and all. And I am happy that your piano is safely transferred.
Regards,
@soulfuldreamer
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To put it in Bambuka's terms: Your subconsciousness lead you into the jungle of details in order to escape from my point. ;-)
Or trying to view it from another point:
What trauma does the person you mentioned have with the jealousy you described? (I am now assuming that your description is correct).
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I think we are mixing things here.
No, there is no trauma... Only some surprising attitudes. I think it's unfair to label these attitudes in the bracket of trauma (I think there is a bit of barrier because of language).
We were talking about how some people behave in a way that surprises one, but, not in a good way ;)))
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