Some call it...

Surprise?

To get a little closer to the theme of trauma, I will have to read on trauma and I'm starting with the German, English and maybe Russian and French articles on this issue as to be found in Wikipedia.

At the same time, I'm reading and reflecting your post, especially your leading question(s):

Why don't you like surprises anymore? What are you afraid of?

This question, these questions have some pre-assumptions that I want to look on, topmost the following:

1. What is a surprise? What do we mean by that word? Can we get hints that we speak of the same thing rather than talking about different concepts of what a surprise may be?

2. In how far is a surprise 'subjective', i.e. an evaluation of a situation as surprise rather than an 'objective' fact such as - let's say - a lightning out of a blue sky?

3. If I don't like surprises anymore, why should I be literally afraid of them? Could I not be merely disgusted or annoyed? Trying to get no more surprises - has this to be caused by fear? Or is fear just one of two, three or more possible (or real personal) reasons to try to get no more surprises?

As Bambuka puts it: "Maybe you are afraid of unpleasant surprises and for this reason you shut yourself off from any surprises?" - "Maybe"! This involves - maybe not. "...you shut yourself off..." involves: It is possible to consider the same situation as surprise or not, by my own and more or less free decision (see also my question (2) above). Such shutting off is another strategy than avoiding would be since in the latter case it would be necessary to stay at home in bedroom while in the first case I could play the role of the controller of the situation or at least on my feelings on this.

Thus:

4.) Is it possible to distinguish between 'getting no more surprises' and 'being no longer affected by surprises'?

The first would be like ignoring or even suppress the perception of something that was unforeseen, the latter would lead to a distanced emotional reaction on unforeseen situations. The first could make anxiety and fears grow, the latter could reduce jumpiness and shockability.

5.) What is, what could be the role of astonishment in relation to or in respect to surprises? What about curiosity? Is it drained where surprises must not exist?

Maybe it seems at first sight that my questions lead away from the trauma issue and away from the healing journey theme, but I don't think so. To think it over, I want to give this scenario: Imagine you've got far away from getting surprised. No one and nothing can sursprise you anymore. And then, one day, you get confronted with the idea that you are in this respect lead by your subconscious level, and the question arises: Are you suffering from a previously experienced trauma? And from now on, it will play a dominant role if you are willing or not to let you being surprised, if you are able or not to go on with curiosity, if you are free or not to dive into astonishment.

Being surprised by the fact that I no longer do like surprises, seems to me to be the very first step on a journey which might bring me to a stairway (no warranty given for healing). Who am I?

photo: ty-ty