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During my days in secondary school, we were thought a topic in mathematics titiled “Probability“. This has to do with calculating the possible outcome of an event showing up. There are 2 instruments that is employed in this study, they are a die, or dice and a coin. A die has numbers on it from 1 to 6 while a coin has two sides namely; a head and a tail. My love for this topic in mathematics translated into life’s experience of which this article is built on.

The coin is a perfect example of “the other side of love”, because it has 2 sides. So let’s call Love ” The head” while the other side of love “the tail“.

Does love has another side to it?

Can one be hurt by the person he/she loves?

Is love truly wicked?

These questions are the purpose this article tries to address.

In my soon to be published book titled “The Mystery of Love” it was affirmed that love is in levels or dimensions and love does not have a definition.

Men only try to define Love based on their level of experience. Even the Bible doesn’t define Love but informs us about Love, because “Love” is beyond a terminology that can be defined.

To understand this better, we need to look at the origin of Love, then we can understand it deeper.

Knowledge is not powerful alone to Foster an action, it takes an understanding of knowledge for the right action to be birthed. The lack of understanding of Love has given rise to many philosophy about Love, many try to explain Love in their different perspective, but instead of clearing doubts it rather worsen and complicated issues.

The society has there concept of Love but in reality is called “Lust“. Because when Love is based on the physical appearance and acquisitions, then when the bases is absence their will be nothing to hold on to, which results to pain, hate and hurt.

Love doesn’t dwell in fantasy, it operate efficiently amidst the character of the recipient.

WHAT IS LOVE?

There is no definite definition of Love in scripture but people only describes it’s influence when it is resident in our lives. This is because Love is beyond an element that can be defined, for Love is more than a feeling, it’s more than intense or strong emotional make up in human physiognomy. What then is Love?

LOVE IS A SPIRIT.

With this point, you will agree with me that one cannot define a Spirit. Love cannot be seen, touched or handled. As a Spirit it cannot be defined.

In 2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is that Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

My emphasis from the above scripture is ” Now the Lord is that Spirit” What Spirit? Love of course.

More also, 1 John 4:24 told us emphatically that God is a Spirit while in 1John 4:16b” God is Love; and he that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

When next you think about Love or tell someone “I love you” let it be known that you are conversing and addressing a Spirit and not the Body (earth container). Because the Spirit of Love is resident in every life that has Christ in it according to 1John 4:15. He that dwell in God dwelleth in Love.

The Spirit of Love which is God abideth in us by His Son Jesus through the Holy Spirit which He has given to us. Therefore, Love originated in God and from Him, for Love is who He is, Love started with God.

” For God so loved the world……” John 3:16
“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us…….”1 John 3:1

The Spirit of Love in us helps us to Love like God. You can’t have the Spirit yet swim in the ocean of hatred and self-centeredness. This Spirit of Love is what makes every relationship we enter in, impactful, and filled with happiness.

The Spirit of Love doesn’t seek her own, but ensures it shows kindness to anyone it comes across with. This is the kind of Love expected in the world today, but the challenge is that, this Spirit of Love can only be given by God through Christ, but people Love darkness rather than light, so what they exhibit as Love is corrupted by the darkness resident in them as “Lust“.

Let’s come to the Crux of the theme of this article, ” the other side of Love”.

You will agree with me that everyone on earth has a soul, comprised of emotions, Intellect and Will, which is sharpened by NURTURE and NATURE.

Nature speaks about the society and environment where a child is raised. The society has an influence on the upbringing of a child. As they mingle with the society, they hear or see things that registers in the subconscious, which later becomes part of their lifestyle in adulthood. Even the movies too serves as a factor that sharpens and builds up the character of the child.

Nurture is the pattern and style of training employed by parents towards a child. The do and don’t they instilled in the child determines their attitude and character as an adult. Little wonder the Bible said

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6.

When a child grows up with a distorted view towards Love, then they mix the purity of Love with their character, thereby creating the other side of Love.

The other side of Love is our personality that is shaped by Nature and Nurture.

Let me link this discuss to relationships. Many marriages and relationships leading to marriage has been brought to an abrupt end because the Love was not fed, therefore the other side of Love choke and overpower Love.

The other side of Love is our personality, principle, discipline, likes, and hates that we have held to tenaciously for many years. We made friends who didn’t meet up to our expectations, hence we let them go. But now, we became in love with someone we didn’t know much about, as days rolled into months, we began to see some traits and character that is opposite ours.

What should I do?, Why did I love him/her in the first place? becomes the question. But many fail to understand that it’s at this point that Love is tested and proven to be genuine.

Can someone be hurt from the person he/she loves? Yes.

Hurt comes through the ones we love, when the character they perceive to be justifiable brings us pain. To them, it is their way of life while it is detestable to you. For Love to win, you have to understand each other’s temperament and personality and learn how to easily forgive.

Most times, Love comes with a euphoria that seems to temporarily blind our mind from faults during the early stage of our relationship, therefore we claim love is blind. But Love has eyes and can also see every incompatibilities but stands firm hoping that all things will be better through patient.

IS LOVE WICKED?

When the Love we portray is corrupted which becomes (Lust), then the end of it will be pain, hurt and wickedness. Lust looks like Love, but there are differences. ..

Love can never be wicked but Lust is, because Lust kills, lust rapes, lust steals, lust devalues, lust is egocentric, lust is self-centered, lust takes, lust is impatient, lust hates, lust is the direct opposite of love. Lust can never sacrifice, but seeks to gratify the desires of the flesh and mind.

The other side of Love has to do with our soul, which desires nothing but gratification at all cost. It is this side that desires to quit at any slight provocation, that seeks to revenge at every jilting, or to kill if it can’t covert.

In conclusion, we must align and submit to the Spirit of Love to help us overcome this other side of Love that is embedded in our soul. That is the reason Romans. 12:2 says

“Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind (soul)”.

In all our relationships on earth, the other side of Love will rise to oppose the Spirit of Love in our Spirit, but with determination, discipline and Grace, Love will cover multitude of Sin.

Remain blessed.

Amb. John C. Joseph
The Exceptional Writer.