I, who have believed in God for many years, always thought that those who believed in the existence of God, could follow God and often pray to Him to keep them away from all calamities, could receive His grace, and furthermore , they could preach the Gospel and bear witness to it; these were people who truly believed in God.
However, recently I discovered that whenever I encountered hardships and adversities, I had no faith in God, and was even full of misunderstanding and blame towards Him inside. For example, when I was sick but God did not remove my illness because of my prayer, my faith in Him would weaken even more, until in the end I was not even willing to pray; Facing various difficulties and frustrations in life, I often complained about God in my heart and thought that I should keep my family in peace and not let these unpleasant things come upon me as I regularly went to meetings, and prayed and prayed.