Steemit Engagement Challenge | S14W3 | Parent's Strict Behavior and Children's Mental Health

Hello steemians

Trust you all having a nice day. Hopefully YES

Today is my first day participating in this challenge, so happy to come across this topic.

Strict behavior have been in existence for a long time. African home are exemplary setting where strict parenting takes place all thanks to the African culture. Many process have taken place to tackle this behaviour since its existence through the modern world and technologies.
I have experience of a strict parenting and I will testify it shaped my life on who I have become and same time affected me in some ways.

In this blog, I will speak about the advantages and disadvantages alongside using my experience to cite references.
Before I begin, I will give the definition of a strict behavior.

What is strict behavior?

Breaking it down for more and clearer understanding, I take it one after the other STRICT + BEHAVIOUR.
Let's start with the word strict " Strict means demanding that rules concerning behaviour are observed, while behaviour means the way one conduct him/herself. Therefore strict behaviour can mean a particular set of rules laid down for conduct which might be placed alongside sanctions and punishments if not followed.

Parents Strict behaviour and children's mental health

Linking it up according to the topic "Parents' strict behavior and children's mental health" this can concluded to be a
STRICT PARENTING

Strict parenting on children most times have an effect on children's mental health and can also in the other way improve children's way of life, it is Vice Versa

Like I said before I was once a victim of strict parenting and to be honest I gained a lot and it also affected me in some ways. This depends on the way you train yourself after being trained by your parent.

A strict parent will always show signs of Rigidity, Higher expectations, Authoritarianism and lack of negotiation. All stated Telltale's signs has the way it affected the children's mental health and can also shaped them in real life.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of parents strict behaviour?

In this blog, all telltale signs are likened to have advantages and disadvantages. A strict parent Telltale's signs such as:

Rigidity

A strict parent Tends to have inflexible rules and routines that children must adapt to his their daily lives. Failure to follow those rules gets you sanctioned.

Advantages of strict behavior (Rigidity)

It teaches the children the way of adapting

It teaches the children how to react to stress and conflict

Disadvantages of strict behavior (Rigidity)

A child adapting to strict behavior might find it difficult to be independent

A child adapting to strict behavior might not be able to speak out about his/her hurdles and will prefer to keep it secret rather than seek help.

High expectations

Strict parent always set high expectations standard for their children to achieve the best behavior, achievement alongside good academic performance by putting immense pressure on them to meet their expectations.

Advantages of strict behavior (high expectations)

Parents' strict behavior of high expectations from children always enable the children to achieve the best possible academic achievement alongside their well-being

Disadvantages of strict behavior (high expectations)

It can let children wander and this is usually caused as a result of not letting the children pursue their unique talents and interests.

Authoritarianism and lack of negotiation

A strict parent always emphasizes obedience and unquestioning compliance rather than nurturing an open parent-and-child relationship.

Advantages of strict behavior (Authoritarianism)

They allow children to be more responsible

They allow children to make good decisions independently

Children tend to have fewer social problems with peers

Disadvantages of strict behavior (Authoritarianism)

Children are discouraged from expressing themselves

Children mostly have emotional and behavioral problems.

What do you feel if you were at the place of such children's who have to face strictness?

Like i said at first, i have experienced strict parenting and here are my experience according to telltale signs stated in my post

My experience (Rigidity)

My father was a strict person and he laid down rules which I and my siblings must follow. He laid down rules such as: don’t go out to play football, don't go to friends' houses, don’t use eyeglasses (fancy), don’t use an earpiece when he says you commit an offense just admit it, you say no you get the beating of your life. My father beats me almost every two or three times a week. In that situation my mother started thinking otherwise concluding my father hated me, with time my father and mother started having arguments and conflicts because of me, putting up different scenarios every day. It affected the family as a whole but I tend to stay strong and focus not letting emotion get over me. Now the act of rigidity shown by my father teaches me how to adapt to the situation of life, I became hardworking and independent, so also learned how to deal with stress and conflict within. Now my dad is one of my best friend who support me in anything I do. I never hated my father for once I was able to tolerate him understanding the fact that all was just a form of discipline.

My experience (High expectation)

My father once forced me to follow his path doing ICAN (institute of a Chartered Accountant), as I never even studied accounting in secondary school. He forced me to do it and he paid for the exam but due to a lack of interest in it, I tried but ended up failing most of the exams. Then he later realized I was never interested in it, he sat me down and asked what I love to study, and I told him I would love to study law. But maybe God didn’t want it for me, I was never able to study law but later studied English education with the influence of my father I secured a job under the Ministry of Transport (railway) thanks to my high point during my degree days and some other effort put by my father to secure the job. Therefore if not for the high expectations from my father I might not have been serious with my studies and I would not have been able to get the higher points needed to secure the job maybe I would have not been in the position I am in today

My experience (Authoritarianism)

My parent brought us up using the authoritarian parenting way, which emphasizes obedience and unquestioning compliance from us, when we were being told to do something we must do it with immediate effect. We were prevented from seeing friends, going to social functions, playing football on the street, or going out to play with other kids, all we do is stay indoors and read our books. It affected us and never gave us the ability to speak to people, interact with people, or make friends but all we had was high expectations in every aspect of life. Now that we are adults and mature we are learning how to make friends, attend social functions, and mingle with people. Today we are respectful people and we are well disciplined.

As a child, what do you expect from your parents regarding their behavior?

As a child, I felt i am been deprived of my happiness and been hated at first but later in the stage of life, i found out it was a way to instill discipline. Since i am being provided with almost all my needs, i accepted it as a way of shaping my life for better future and never for once hated them for their behavior.

What are the negative effects of emotional blackmailing?

Emotional blackmailing do have a very negative effect on children mental health. It has led many children to the following such as:

Feelings of insecurity of inadequacy

Excessive compassion

Empathy to the point of eroding their boundaries.

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