Hi Miss @wakeupkitty @wakeupkitty.pal

I appreciate empathy for me, I actually missed a lot of important events in my family like I was not able to attend my favorite niece's 18th coming of age birthday celebration nor my other niece's and nephew's special events and moments. My plan is to be more close to them because I do not have children but because I am always pinned here at home because of my pain issues, I am really feeling bad that things like that didn't came to my expectations.

My former classmates from high school (middle school) particularly from our section of our batch (graduates of1994) too wants us to always meet together especially during the end of the month like in these Christmas parties and class reunions and guess what, I can't go for almost the same reason and this issue with being shy about my physical appearance which I know for sure will just make them feel sorry about my condition and so because of that I do not want them to feel uncomfortable because it is a fact that my physical condition is one of the lowest of the low a person can ever experience.

Leontiasis Ossea is a very rare bone disease and yet I was unfortunate enough out of Billions of people to ever get it, My only consolation is that at least I will not have any financial problem and both these two factors in my life are beyond nightmare and a pleasant dream come true respectively.

Now I really couldn't care less about my appearance but the intermingled pain issue is what I am really struggling with and that is why I missed so much fun and special physical activities and events from my friends and lovedones and its beyond frustration which I perpetually trying to cope with until now.

Anyway, there is a lot of food being served in the clinic's Christmas party because it is hospital-sponsored and there is always a whole roasted pig being served, sometimes I hear that the roast pork was not consumed but the last time I attended, it was all eaten-up by all attendees considering that some patients also bring more than one family member.

The "Lechon" (Whole roast pork) is the only thing that I wanted to eat and I told my father to get me some when take the queue for getting some food but he returned with only one plate which is for his own consumption. I was only one there that didn't eat and so I told myself to never attended it anymore, besides all the while my back is already torturing me with pain an hour after getting there.

I also feel out of place because I have to wear a surgical mask all the time because of my face otherwise Kids will stare at me and some people too not to mention making them feel uneasy with me sitting somewhere over there. Considering that I am inherently shy person, this additional big appearance issue had magnified my shyness multitudes of times if you can imagine and made me more agoraphobic than ever before.

I feel empty when I do not have my mother around even in this house so if my mother will not attend again, I might as well do the same especially with my experience with my father lol.

Mother has some pain issues with her shoulder and that is her reason to forgo with the Christmas party. Also, the hospital couldn't care less about my pain issues, most of the nurses if not all of them just look at me a very long time patient that cannot walk and nothing more so giving me a more comfortable place to sit is not an option.

Thank you Miss @wakeupkitty 🌹🌹🌹