Contest / My Favorite Love Story / Ended Losing

In the midst of a light drizzle afternoon, a girl walked hastily down the path. His face looked a little pale, either from the cold or from a lot of thoughts. He walked with his head down as if he didn't want anyone to see his pale face that afternoon.

Arriving at the park bench, she sat down and folded her legs, burying her face so that all that could be seen was the top of the hijab and the back which was rising and falling to hold back the tears. She sobbed but not too loudly. A few seconds later, the girl looked up, took out a piece of wet tissue and wiped it well. After wiping her tears with a wet tissue, she got up and started walking again. This time with a slightly relieved facial expression.

Arriving in front of a green house tosca, without further ado he opened the door and slammed it a little hard. His steps were immediately directed to a door that said Liana, then entered, threw his body into the spring bed and continued the crying that had been delayed in the garden earlier. The girl I'm talking about is me. Yes, I am a new student who is enjoying the first semester of college and other organizational activities. Because I often meet in several forums, it makes me close to one of the seniors. He was in the same faculty as me, but we were in different study programs. Where did our closeness start? I myself am confused, which is clear I started replying to messages when asked about the editing application that I often use. Besides, when we are an organization, we have to coordinate with each other.

Every day we meet, eat together, go everywhere together, often hang out together. We got closer even though there were no barriers when he became the head of one of the organs. In a way, I knew everything about him and vice versa until the kids thought we had some other relationship outside the organs. But I brushed it off, because there was really nothing between us but good relations as friends and organ partners. Because at that time he actually already had a girlfriend, so I never expected that there would be more feelings between me and him.

As a friend, he often exchanged stories about his relationship with his girlfriend. When they have conflicts, when he misses his girlfriend because they have been in a long distance relationship for two years, or trivial issues arise between them. I'm quite a good listener to him. Several times he expressed a sense of comfort when he was with me, and I always responded jokingly because I didn't want to be a third party in the relationship he had been working on.

Source

I was once angry, very annoyed at him for revealing his feelings to me too often other than his status as someone's girlfriend. From how often he said that I could always brush it off with the usual response of a friend. Until one day when I opened the status column on my social media account, I saw a story about breaking up with my lover. Immediately I shifted and my fingers started typing asking what was wrong. It didn't take him long to reply to my chat. she says that her relationship with her lover is over. With a bit of disbelief, I comforted him a little.

After a few days after our heartbreak, we went to the beach but forgot what business I was still imagining when he asked him how I felt about him which I again joked about. But I know, he is serious about expressing his heart, it's just that I don't know how I feel about him all this time. So, I just responded jokingly without intending to hurt her.

The moon continues to circle the earth, the days go by. I am very aware of his feelings for me which is reflected in the way he treats me, cares about everything I do, and is always there for any problems that occur. I kept quiet because I also asked my heart about her feelings for the man who was there for her every day. But the more I reproached him with the same question, the more I couldn't find the answer.

Until an incident that in the end made me lose everything, including him. After college when I was about to go home, he carried me. "Don't go home yet, I have something to tell you. You two, find a place where no one is around." He said slowly. I answered yes because I was thinking about a future organization or activity.

Finally I followed him, we sat and chatted in a place where almost no children passed. "What's wrong? Just curious" I asked a moment after confirming the sitting position. He took my phone to focus on listening to him speak. He started the conversation a bit stammering, kept telling me how he felt and asking me to choose between him, or the girl Bu Y who I admit is close to me but not as close as I am with him.
“You have until Saturday to answer this question. I just need reassurance, to continue or stop.” He concluded ending the afternoon's conversation. I couldn't help but remain silent, not sure what to say.

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He was always there, but someone else I fought for was there. The questions given turned out to be more difficult than math problems in economics or financial management. He with his questions was able to keep me from sleeping well for days. My real fear is the fear of hurting him, the fear of losing him, and how to make sentences as smooth as possible so that he doesn't get hurt.

With so much deliberation, so many reasons, and days I finally decided not to choose anyone. We are quite friends, enough to be brothers and sisters which is why I hope this relationship will last long for friendship. But I was wrong, it turned out that the decision made me have to lose it, and live another day than usual. He started to drift away, no longer filled my social media chat fields, no longer greeted me when I met him, and often avoided one forum. Yes, I have lost him. Losing a figure who usually always existed, now had to disappear on purpose.

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Thanks For Visiting My Blog @samsolrizal

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Thanks also to @belenguerra & @fendit Who has organized this wonderful contest.