As you may (or may not) have noticed, I have recently mentioned a friend who has been battling liver cancer.
This morning... on what we have been calling "Palindrome Day" (because 02022020 reads the same forwards and backwards) Mrs. Denmarkguy and I were enjoying our coffee on the back porch, when a little white feather came drifting down from above, moving gently on the breeze.
Leaves in the sun...
"I think that was a message that R. has left us..." Mrs. Denmarkguy quietly said, even though the prognosis was that she would have about another month.
Mrs. Denmarkguy is psychic. Not in that carnival, side show fortune teller way... but in having an uncanny ability to simply "know" when things are happening... before they happen.
Ten minutes later, we had a text massage from a friend (who's a hospice nurse at the hospital) that our friend had, indeed, passed away about an hour earlier.
Flowers in the sun...
"Let the Dead Bury the Dead"
Of course we were saddened by the news, but we were also happy the learn that the final time of suffering was over, for our friend.
It's easy to slide into brooding and depressions, rather than remember — and celebrate — the joyful life that was, and the joyful moments we shared with someone who has passed on. Fact is — if they were truly our dear friend — that the positive memories are likely to outweigh the negative ones by a factor of 10-to-1 or more.
And when someone near to us dies? We are not really grieving for them, so much as we are grieving for ourselves, for the "hole" that seems to have appeared in our lives.
Our friend was one of the most patient, friendly and helpful people you could possibly imagine... and she will be missed. But she will also be remembered, and celebrated. And I doubt very much that she'd want us all to sit around and be mopey for a long time.
Cherry blossoms...
Life is a Fragile Thing
We often hear it said that "Life is a fragile thing, enjoy it while you can!"
These are wise words, but let us also remember that we should enjoy whatever life we have on our own terms, and not according to other people's expectations.
And that is, perhaps, what we will remember most about our friend... that she chose her own life, and lived her own way... and persevered, in spite of often being told "You can't DO that!!"
Why... sure you can...
As I write these words, I am also reminded of one of Steemlandia's own long-time evangelists @onceuponatime who's also on the verge of departing this plane, if he has not already. You can read the tribute by @stan if you're interested...
My point here, though, was that Paul was also someone who lived life on his own terms... and he was one of the first people who greeted me, when I landed here. He, too, will be missed... but he should also be celebrated.
Meanwhile... I'm still pondering that little white feather, drifting down from the sky... coincidence? Sunchronicity? Or a cosmic farewell message?
Thanks for reading!
(Another #creativecoin creative non-fiction post)
Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20200202 19:38 PST
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I didn't know Paul, and only today read @stan 's tribute.
I am a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) And part time "go to caregiver" for my niece's husband who is a quadriplegic.
I would not like to nor choose to live his life, but he is alive, aware, has a LARGE income settlement which allows him and my niece to live well? under the circumstances.
But still, I commented on the tribute that 4 months was too soon for Paul to give up hope. Therapy, time and new treatments could bring him back.
Love this post @denmarkguy, say hi to Mrs Denmarkguy for me.
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Thanks for the kind words, and your thoughtful comment.
I guess people all have their lenses of perception of what they feel amounts to "quality of life." Your niece's husband sounds like he has a workable solution. Paul is more of a loner with no immediate family... so maybe he felt he had fewer reasons to live on, with a reduced quality of life. My former father-in-law chose "death with dignity," following an inoperable and terminal cancer... which is legal, here in the state of Washington.
Thanks again, and I will pass along your good wishes!
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Good Morning @denmarkguy.
He sounds a lot like me, although I have lots of immediate family. They are just older than me, so there is no help there.
The events of MY life, my past addictions and the behaviors that go along with that alienated many if not most of them and they have not 'moved on' enough to forgive me.
I have SCADS of nieces and Nephews who are younger than me, many of them have great grand children themselves.
Ah well. I hope you have a wonderful day.
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Such a beautiful post @denmarkguy. So sorry to hear about your friend. But as you say Iam sure she would want us to not mope around and rather celebrate her Life :)
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She battled a couple of forms of cancer for about three years... actually beat breast cancer, but then they found some spot on her liver... and it went downhill fast from there, because he immune system was not at full strength from the previous round of treatments... but she was always cheerful and ready to make the most of even very shitty situations, so we're honoring that life approach!
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There are times we feel things happening although we're miles away.
I believe we all continue our own journey and death is just a change of body.
Peace and love.
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I'm inclined to think you're right! There's something "more" that occupies these "meat vehicles" we use for 80 years or so... and when we're done, we move on.
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Well said, a lovely post and my condolences...
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Thank you, I appreciate it!
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When someone close to us dies, we are not often grieving for them but for ourselves for the hole that seems to appear in our lives,sorry about your friend.May she rest in eternal peace.
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Thank you! We try to find some comfort in knowing that at least she is no longer suffering with the cancer.
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