Catch up on part 1: The Falling Angel
Felix sat on the floor and closed his eyes. Curtains closed, the darkness surrounded his sight and it expanded into the infinity of his inner world. He paid attention to his breath as he begin to inhale deeper, sustaining the exhalation for as long as he could.
A tingling sensation begin to manifest in his shoulders and expanded throughout the body. The more he breathed, the lighter he felt and the darkness begin to shape into abstract patterns that had the intention of becoming geometrically harmonious but faded away before they could achieve this feat.
The expectation of a state of clarity kept him going but after a while of not being able to reach it, thoughts flooded the gate of Felix’s consciousness. “What stops me from going beyond?”, he questioned. He begin to feel flawed, unworthy. “Why do I bother? It doesn’t matter what I do, all that surrounds me is darkness and melting blurs of what lies on the other side…”
Things got worse when traumatic events begin to invade his mind. Vague memories of episodes of incestuous rape that he had experienced when a child, fear of doing sociably unacceptable things, desire to kill even if just to feel for once the power of taking a life, the wish to take revenge on a heartless society that had no empathy for his vision of how to relate to the natural world.
He noticed his body had become tense. He reminded himself he could still breath, that he was still there and that it was up to him where to guide his mind. Feeling more liberated, the thoughts begin to fade and a sense of calm took over. His body begin vibrating in a manner that felt steady and comforting.
Amidst the vibratory field he could identify a small interference, very much like the static signal from a radio that can’t connect to a channel. His curiosity led him to paying more attention to this sound and he begin to hear it louder. He thought he could distinguish some words but wasn’t sure
“Cow… cow-a”, he heard.
Felix pondered on the spiritual meaning of cows for a second but before he could get anywhere the voice sounded louder and clearer:
“Coward”, uttered the voice with an otherwordly tone to it. “You’re nothing but a coward, you hide here from the outside world, you pretend to be above humans but you can’t face the basic challenges of society to get what you really desire”, were the coldly pronounced words by the unknown entity that had decided to communicate with Felix.
Felix realized he was being part of a telepathic communication with some kind of spirit. He had experienced this while under the influence of psychedelic drugs before but never had he gotten to this point without any external aid, and with such clarity.
Before he was able to answer anything to the spirit he heard the unknown speaker say:
“Don’t try to answer, don’t think. There is nothing your petty and limited human consciousness can say that is worth my while. Listen and learn. You waste your life seeking peace, only those who fear death and the unknown seek peace. Those who wish to take everything that life has to offer seek every chance they can to get dirty, to taste blood and to be worthy of the attention of the ancient gods.
Look at history. Who were the feared and respected? Who had access to everything a man can dream of and left a legacy to behold for their heirs? It was not those miserable monks, nor the religious men! They might as well have incarnated as plants! You are a low-level human, a waste of society. But I can help you, I can guide you”, pronounced the voice with a dark serenity and eloquence.
Felix felt curious but at the same time full of fear. He thought about opening his eyes to break the trance.
“Open your eyes and I’ll be gone for good. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, take it or leave it”, threatened the spirit.
Despite the fear, Felix had waited his whole life for something that felt so out of this world and yet so real. He needed to know what this was about and remained attentive.
“Good choice, you’re still here with me. Now we’re going to have to change a few things with your life to make you into a proper human with the balls to go out and get everything you want. I need you to stop rotting in that farm and go to a city, go somewhere where no one knows you, where you have no emotional attachments. Once you’re there I will visit you again”, finished the voice before fading into the void.
A surge of energy filled Felix’s body and he felt like all fear had been removed from within. Millions of ideas flooded his mind and he felt euphoric, finally he had been reached by the spiritual world in a way that was undeniable. He needed no proof of how real it was.
At the same time the voice had said many controversial things. It had denied everything he believed in. Of course, Felix was not uninformed of the demons, jokers, parasites, archons and other evil entities that made residence in the astral realms, interacting occasionally with humans to obtain energy or attempting to control minds.
However, this was the first clear interaction he had experienced with such entities and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. “It must be my fate to deal with this spirit, otherwise it would have been an angel or a bodhisattva who would have visited me… There must truly be important things to learn from it”, he said to convince himself, though deep in his heart he knew it was lust and desire that moved him in this direction, not the pursuit of knowledge.
That night he cleaned up his room, packed the clean clothes he had, a few warm covers for the cold and before sunrise he was heading for the road. He only left a note that said:
“I’m sorry to leave like this… I had reasons I can’t explain, but I’ll be back, perhaps soon. Thank you for receiving me here, I hope to someday be able to make it up to you.
Much love,
Felix”
To be continued...
Check out these great communities:
#posh https://twitter.com/fenngen/status/1237612278981079040
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit