He's away by his absence

Some funnies for the coffee moment..

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

You’re a man of many words Holmes.
Do you really think so?
Yes, I do.
Well turn on the wireless then and let’s hear the weather forecast.
Click!
...
+++…Oh the sea is quiet now where the old ships come home at last to rest; and the seagulls cry overhead forever…But the cracked face of it all climbs the mountain and falls back down to the bottom, and then again it rises to try again the long climb upwards…+++
...
Quick, turn it off Watson.
Click!
Bad idea.
Shall I get you a nice book to read Holmes?
A book; what kind of book?
A real page turner.
Yes, alright Watson.
Here you are.
...
+++‘…I have lit a fire in my heart and shall burn in its flames. When the wheel turns full circle I hope I am consumed and nothing is left of me to regret anything; but what am I? …’+++
...
How’s the book?
It keeps rushing back at me as if it wants to tell me something.
Perhaps it is the universe Holmes, trying to get in touch with you.
Do you mean God?
No, God’s away on holiday.
On holiday you say?
Yes, on holiday.
...
+++Did you hear that, Jimmy; they say God’s on holiday?
So he’s away by his absence then, Moriarty?+++
...
Thirteen across: Mousy tongue and something Japanese?
Hmm, let me think.
Are you thinking Holmes?
Yes I am.

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

BOTTOMS UP IN THE WISHING LIQUID

+++…In the stance of the dance, ole antsy pants was a quick mover and his hands were ever so clean and his big teeth shone like the moon but his pants were two feet short so he had to wear long socks to cover up the flashing bare. Zzzz+++
...
Holmes?
Hmmm?
You’re snoring again…
...
+++Anyway, lazy Mary liked him and she was always up for a slap and tickle behind the bicycle sheds until dawn with all the soldier boys dreaming it was them; but the arc in the spark jumped out of the dark until they heard their mothers say: “there’s a good boy, time to go home now;” so off they all went, half spent, secretly wishing to get back there to the dream. Zzzzz…+++
...
This is your final warning…
What’s going on?
I’m so glad you’re awake now Holmes.
...
+++And deep under the sea there was a small bee that had no idea any of this was going on; it was just sinking down to the bottom where the sea floor was, yes, it was sinking away forever…+++
...
If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a hundred times: turn that bloody wireless off.
It’s not me I tell you.
I don’t understand, Watson.
Well Holmes, it’s like this: if you’d light a candle I’d be able to see where the wireless is, and then I could turn it off for sure.
Is that the wireless I hear?
No, it is not.
Then what is it that I hear?
It is my boot sir, kicking you up the behind.

Image by Couleur from Pixabay

WINTER

+++Ribbit, ribbit.
Who’s there?
It’s your son, sir.
Ah, my gift to the world. What does he want?
He wants to come in sir.
Everyone wants to come in.
Well it is cold outside sir.
My God, is it that time of year again?+++

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

TURN THAT BLOODY WIRELESS OFF

+++…and, hmm...he thought to himself and walked right past this without stopping; oh no, not much could keep him from his morning coffee. Oh, the Pearly gates of Heaven: The pearly gates opened with a resounding clang and woke up the gang sleeping in the grass. The doorman, hands on hips, called out: “Right you scurvy lot, on your feet.” He was an ex sergeant major from the British army and knew how to get things done. The gang groaned to their feet not expecting such from the pearly gates of heaven. “I’ll take a baker’s dozen and a fisherman’s friend to go,” said one of the gang. “Is this a guinea to ride on the port side of the boat going East North West at eleven said another......+++
...
Turn that bloody wireless off…
OK, OK, look, I’m walking towards the bloody wireless to turn it off, and there’s nothing in my hands…oh no, wait, the wireless is broken; Oh dear….hmm
...
+++Déjà vu here on the wireless waves to tell you something: …
I am listening.
Tomorrow is coming soon.
Thank you for that little tidbit.
You’re welcome.
Oh, it’s such a funny day
Err, you?
Who? Me?
Chip me 20 bucks honey, you know the good stuff comes later.
Yea, don’t I just.
Time is such a small price to pay.
Meet me later then, when the blues in your tune aligns with my sign, to make me dance.
Oh, am I coming home?
Ah, it’s a funny day…today I have a plan, but tomorrow I’ll know different.
What does that say for me?
It says what it always says: that you were born between the ears of the sky and the earth where the calling cries loudest.
Maybe I should’ve taken the train.
Well, it’s crazy time for me.
Me too.
Whoo hoo…+++
...
I can still hear the wireless, Watson…

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