The golden rabbit hole

This is Holmes and Watson again and that blasted radio...

Image by skeeze from Pixabay

THE CROW THAT FLIES

+++This is the crow that flies out of the darkness+++
It is?
+++Yes, and I bring onions+++
What for?
+++To make you cry+++
But I don’t want to cry.
+++Well tough titty, it’s coming right at you anyway+++
What are you talking about?
+++Ah, the wind, the wind+++
Holmes?
Yes?
How high are you?
Oh, about ten thousand miles.
That’s really up there.
Thank you Watson, I appreciate that.

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THE GOLDEN RABBIT HOLE

Purp.
Is that you Watson?
No Holmes, it was not me.
Are you sure?
Completely sure.
Well, who was it then?
I don’t know Holmes; I’m just trying to bring in the groceries.
+++Maybe it was Jimmy the hand, if you please?+++
Who said that?
+++Maybe it was I+++
And who are you sir?
+++I am the rabbit hole you have just gone down+++
Ah, the wireless…
+++I think it’s time to bring on the dancing girls now+++

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I WISH I KNEW

+++This is Jimmy the hand here on the wireless waves coming to you with the gravity of the situation.+++
Ha, ha; it’s all fake news.
I told you so, Holmes
Now that I hear it for myself I believe you Watson.
+++Are you he that I hate?
I am not he, sir.
Then who are you Jimmy?
I don’t know; just, not him.
I am confused.
Just don’t talk about him, sir.
Well then, we shall not talk about him.
Then who should I talk about, sir?
Well, talk about me of course, what else do you get paid for?
I don’t know; I really wish I knew+++

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OH, IT WAS A FINE WINE

+++Was it you that was talking about escape last night Jimmy?
No sir, it was not; heaven forbid I should ever do that.
Then can you explain to me who you were waving at?
Oh sir, I plead with you, please don’t put me in the dungeon again.
I will think about it+++

Image by Sakari Niittymaa from Pixabay

EARLY MORNING BEFORE COFFEE

I woke up dreaming last night of all the things I was thinking about as I was going to sleep; and then I found myself walking down a long dark passageway to the sound of chickens clucking.
This morning I found an egg in my bed, and my shoes are missing. What do you make of that Watson?
Your shoes are in the hen house Holmes, and the egg is for your breakfast.
It’s all most peculiar Watson.
Yes Holmes, it is. Would you like me to boil the egg now?
A boiled egg, hmm. Things are looking up Watson.
Yes indeed, the mystery deepens.
We need coffee to get to the bottom of this; quick, off to the kitchen.
Shall I lead the way Holmes?
Yes, lead on.
Follow me then.
If the candle burns at both ends, what happens when the flame gets to the middle, Watson?
Why, it becomes one and burns twice as bright.
Which means two heads are better than one.
Indeed they are Holmes.
We’ll have this solved in no time Watson.
Of course Holmes, don’t we always?
Is that jazz on the wireless Watson?
I do believe it is, Holmes.

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A DIARY SIGH

+++Suddenly, without any warning at all, an alarm went off until everyone found themselves vibrating.
Iss that yyou Jimmmmy?
Nno, nnott mee sirr.
Whatt’s happennningg Jimmmy?
The exactt sourccce of this iss unknown sirrr.
As suddenly as it came it fell silent.+++
I’ve just remembered that I have a dentist’s appointment soon, Watson.
Yes Holmes, it’s in the dairy.

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