• In building engineering, the structure that lies under another structure, a base or foundation, is known as substructure, while the part of the structure above the ground is called superstructure.
- There cannot be superstructure without the substructure. The foundation of a building determines the strength of the building.
• Jesus said:
- “Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like:
- “He is like a man building a house, who DUG DEEP AND LAID THE FOUNDATION ON THE ROCK. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house
And could not shake it, for it was FOUNDED ON THE ROCK [well-built]. - “But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth WITHOUT A FOUNDATION, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell [collapsed]. And the ruin of the house was great.”
Luke 6:47-49 (NKJV)
- Now, the two houses mentioned in the above passage of the Bible were exposed to the same problem– natural disaster. Albeit the one founded on the rock withstood the flood while the other that was not founded on the rock collapsed. The Scripture says:
“If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?”
Psalm 11:3 (NKJV) - For your marriage to stand against the billows, stand the test of time; it has to be built on the Lord Jesus Christ, the Word of God, the Rock of ages (1 Corinthians 10:4; Revelation 19:13).
“… they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that ROCK WAS CHRIST."
1 Corinthians 10:4 (NKJV)
• Jesus was invited
- There was a marriage in Cana of Galilee and Jesus was invited. For disharmony and chaos to be avoided in marriage, Jesus has to be invited.
- The first step is to invite Jesus into your life. Accept Him as your personal Lord and Saviour (Romans 10:9,10).
“Behold, I [Jesus] stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come into him and dine with him, and he with Me.”
Revelation 3:20 (NKJV)
• Single life
- Use your single life wisely.
“Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, before the difficult [evil] days come…”
Ecclesiastes 12:1 (NKJV) - If you claim to be born again; you have to keep your body for Christ, do not defile your body—you belong to Him (1 Corinthians 6:19,20; Ephesians 5:3-6; Romans 6:11-14).
- “or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
- “For you were bought with a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God’s.”
1 Corinthians 6:19,20 (NKJV)
• Flee youthful lust (2 Timothy 2:22).
- Sexual sin has become the norm, even perverted ones. In some part of the world, homosexuality—sodomy, lesbianism—is legalized. They even call one ‘phone sex’ (Romans 1:26,27).
- Albeit, if you belong to Christ and you know your body belongs to Him, you will keep yourself for Him (2 Timothy 2:19).
• Fireplace
- If you keep fire in the fireplace, it will not do harm. However, if fire is taken out of the fireplace, it can cause damage—destructive and severe one for that matter.
- Sex is for marriage. Keep sex for marriage, keep your body for you would be spouse (1 Corinthians 7:2-4).
“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, do not to awaken love until the time is right.”
Song of Solomon 8:4 (NLT)
• Look before you leap
- Do not rush into marriage because of your inability to control inordinate, excessive, sexual urge. Marriage may not solve the problem if you do not deal with it!
- Those who cannot discipline themselves in one area of their lives may find it difficult to do in other areas of their lives.
- If you cannot discipline yourself in food, you cannot fast; you may discover that you cannot discipline yourself in sex, in spending, and in other areas of your life.
- If you have the problem of inordinate sexual urge, impulse buying, extravagant spending and so on; and you ask God to help you, He will—that is the essence of the Holy Spirit on the inside of believers.
- If you cannot deal with inordinate sexual urge while you are still single, you may not when you marry also, and it may lead to infidelity—extra marital affairs, which is adultery, a grievous sin in the sight of God (Proverbs 6:32,33; 1 Corinthians 6:15,16).
• Build your spiritual life
- Concentrate on building your spiritual life when you are yet married.
- “I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man spends his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please Him.
- But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.
- His interest are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (NLT)
- It is easy to build your spiritual life before you marry. If you cannot read your Bible daily, pray, and do other spiritual exercises as a single person, how would you cope if you marry? — When responsibilities of married life set in.
- If you lay the foundation of a sound spiritual life before you marry, it will help your marriage to stand on a good foundation—the Word of God.
- Your sound spiritual life will rub off on your would-be spouse, since only an iron can sharpen iron (Proverbs 27:17).
- If wood and iron come together, both will suffer loss. Iron will become blunt, and wood will suffer reduction.
- If you are on fire for God, then you can easily attract your like—like attracts like. However, if you are a yo-yo, Christian; inconsistent Christian, up-and-down Christian, not steadfast in the Lord—you will attract your type as well.
- Your strong spiritual life will help your relationship with your spouse when you marry. One can easily go along with, that is, agree with, relate with, a Christian who is matured spiritually than a carnal Christian. So, use your youthful days to build your spiritual life (Lamentations 3:27).
- You build your spiritual life by studying the Word of God and practicing it; by praying daily; by using your time, talent, or vocational gift to work in your local church; and by being faithful in giving.
• Do not succumb or yield to pressure
- If you are yet engaged, no partner yet, as a bachelor girl or a bachelor; and you are marriageable in terms of age, do not give in to pressure from parents, relatives, and concerned friends—especially if you are the first daughter or son of your parents. Marriage is not something you rush into.
- I also want to admonish parents, especially mothers, not to mislead their sons or daughters. Avoid haste or impatience! Let God lead your son or daughter and allow God to have His way. God makes everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
• Be wary of fake Christians
- Paul said:
“… I have faced danger from men 🗣️ who claim to be believers but are not.”
2 Corinthians 11:26 (NLT) - Some may pretend to be Christians, born gain, who may want you to marry them, while they are not.
- The fact that you meet somebody in a Bible based church or a Christian gathering does not mean the person is a genuine believer, Christian. There are wolves in sheep clothing, beware of such (Matthew 7:15, 21).
- Some ladies like parading themselves, going about with different men, thinking the more men they know and identify with, the better their chances in getting a partner. The truth is, seeing you with different men all about could suggest to people that you are morally loose. No serious-minded man would want a woman like that. Even men who may be interested in you can easily be put off, because they have been seeing you with different men.
- Keep yourself for the Lord. Be chaste. Be committed and consecrated to the work of the kingdom. In the place of service your need shall be met.
- Do not run after men. Men appreciate what they strive to get, than what comes to them cheaply. Do not make yourself cheap!
- And as a brother you should not be a lady-killer—someone who enjoys forming relationships with women, but such does not stay in a serious relationship with anyone.
- Do not go about having casual sexual relationship with sisters—taking advantage of gullible and desperate sisters (2 Timothy 3:6).
- Sisters, do not collect money, material things, from someone you are not convinced to marry—it may ensnare you.
• Encounter with Christ Jesus
- If you have not given your life to Jesus Christ, that is, you have not accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, it means you have not made the first most important decision in your life (Romans 10:9,10).
- The first most important decision to make in life is accepting Jesus Christ as one’s Lord and personal Saviour, while the second most important decision is who to marry.
- Take the step now, pray this prayer:
“Jesus, I believe in my heart, and I confess with my mouth that you died for my sins and was raised from the dead, that I might be saved—be made right with God, therefore pardon me, and write my name in Book of life, In Jesus name. - If you took that step, you prayed the prayer, it means you are born again now.
- Be identified with a Word-based church, grow, and be rooted there.
• You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name.
Peace!