GOD'S PLAN IN MARRIAGE

"But because there is so much sexual immorality each man should have his own wife; and each woman should have her own husband."
1 Corinthians 7:2 (NLT)

• Apostle Paul gave this admonition to the Christians in Corinth and every Christian, because of the prevalent sexual immorality in the world.

• Christians in Corinth were surrounded by sexual temptations, as it is today.
• The city had a reputation even among pagans for sexual immorality and religious prostitution. Corinthians needed special, specific, instructions because of their cultural immoral standards. Their culture was so contrary to God's plan.
• As it were in Paul's day in Corinth, so it is in our present world. There are lots of things in our cultures that are contrary to God's plan in marriage.

• Marriage according to the Bible is an institution created and ordained by God. Therefore, the instruction on how to have a godly marriage must come from God through His Word (Genesis 2:18-25; Mark 10:6-8).

• We cannot make decision on marriage based on our own thoughts, opinions, or selfish impulses. Neither can we understand what a true godly marriage is by using the wisdom of this world as seen in the custom and habits of the culture we live in.

• In my previous piece of writing, MARRIAGE FOUNDED ON THE ROCK, I said: The first most important decision in life is whether you have received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour; while the second most important decision is who to marry.

• This second most important decision has a lifelong impact on everything you do and everything you become in life.
• If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour, then you should let Him lead you on who to marry (Proverbs 14:12; 19:14).

• Choosing a marriage partner

• Marriage is a lifetime journey.
  Choosing someone whom you will live with for the rest of your life worth praying on.
• Some believe they have waited long in getting a partner; thus, they are desperate on marrying even by any means.
• It is better to wait and marry the right person than to rush into marriage and regret later.
• In choosing a partner, pray, do not leave it to chances—and fasting could be added to your prayers.
  "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God."
  Philippians 4:6 (NKJV)

• Be sensitive

• As you pray be watchful in your spirit, open your heart to receive from the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:12).
  "Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might KNOW the things that have been freely given to us by God."
  1 Corinthians 2:12 (NKJV)

• Do not be rigid

• Rigidity has kept some people waiting unnecessarily and it has led some people astray.
• Some have missed their appointed time and chance because of rigidity.
• If you missed your chance, struggling and toiling may set in. However, God is a God of second chance; He is willing to give you another chance if you are ready to cooperate with Him (Job 14:7-9).

• Be flexible

• Let God have His way, obey whatever He tells you (Proverbs 3:5-7).
• Do away with idols you set up in your mind.
  "Therefore, speak to them, and say to them, "Thus says the Lord God: Every one of the house of Israel who sets up his Idols in his heart, and puts before him what causes him to stumble into iniquity, and then comes to the prophet, I the LORD will answer him who comes according to the multitude of his Idols."
  Ezekiel 14:4 (NKJV)
• Some have in their mind how their would-be-spouse should look like, what the person should have and so on.
• Having a desire about how your would-be-spouse should look like is not outright wrong, however you should be flexible on it.
• Submit your desire to God, do not be rigid about it. If what you desire corresponds to God's will or plan for you—He will grant your desire.
• If you trust God to choose for you, He will not lead you contrary to your taste or desire. He is a loving Father.
• Some of the things you desire may not be in the person God has brought your way presently but will later manifest in the future. If you marry in obedience to God's instruction, you will not regret.
• Example: If the person who comes your way as God's will is thin, but you desire a sturdy person—that may later be as time passes.
• Do not be rigid about the nationality, tribe, complexion, profession etc.

• A young lady
A lady made up her mind to marry a tall man. In the local church where she worships, a young man approached her seeking permission for marriage which she turned down. Her pastor later heard about it, he called her, and said, "I heard Bro S... proposed to you but you turned him down." She answered her pastor, "The brother is too short for my liking." The pastor tried to convince her that he perceived the Brother was the right person for her; but she insisted on having a tall man.
The brother eventually got another sister and they wedded. And of course, she also got a tall man she desired so much, but according to her Pastor, she is having a tall problem in her marriage now.

• Do not be sentimental

• Some chose who to marry based on people's opinion. They wanted to please their relatives or someone they respect, even when they are not led by God to do so.
• Marriage is a lifetime journey, a personal matter, if you miss it in choosing, you alone will face the consequences—not the people you wanted to please.

• Choose based on purpose

• One of the things you need to settle before marriage is to know God's plan for your life—the reason why you are here on planet earth (Jeremiah 1:5).
• If you are yet to know God's plan for your life, you will do well to know it before you proceed further in knowing who to marry.
• However, if you have discovered purpose, you have known what God wants you to do and be; then choose someone who agrees with your vision as a partner in marriage.
• If you choose someone who does not agree with your God-given vision, it may be difficult to fulfil the vision.
  "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?"
  Amos 3:3 (NLT)

• Choose from the household of faith (2 Corinthians 6:14-16).

• If you claim to be born-again, then you need to marry from the household of God—if you want a blissful marriage.
• Someone may be nice and morally good, however, that is not equal to salvation—regeneration. Being religious is not the same as salvation of soul (John 3:5,6; Romans 10:9,10).
• Let the person you are considering be someone who loves God, fears God, and has passion for God and the things of God (Psalm 42:1,2).
• Consider the person's relationship with God.
• Does he or she love God?
• Someone who loves God, who has good relationship with God, would want to do His will, obey His Word, and such may not be difficult to relate with.
• What God needs from you is obedience to Him and submission to His will.

• Money, possessions, beauty, and material comforts.

• The physical things are necessary and important because we live in the material world; however, they should not be the sole premise, basis, for marrying someone.
• The reason being that: things which are seen are temporary, and if you build your marriage on physical things which are temporary, your marriage may collapse when those things are no longer there (2 Corinthians 4:18)."while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
  2 Corinthians 4:18 (NKJV)

• Parental consent

• In choosing a life partner, do not despise the counsel of the authorities over your life.
• If you have godly parents, consider their counsel. Some have missed God's choice for their lives because of wrong and fleshly desires. When they are being advised because of the wrong step they wanted to take, they would not listen.

1. "One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye.
2. When he returned home, he told his father and mother, "A young philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me."
3. His father and mother objected. "Isn't there even one woman in our tribe or among all Israelites you could marry?" they asked. "Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?" But Samson told his father, "Get her for me! She looks good to me."
   Judges 14:1-3 (NLT)

• Samson wanted a pagan Philistine by all means, even when his parents were telling him, Marrying a pagan is not the best for you—God does not want you to marry an unbeliever, but he insisted.

1. "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
2. And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or WHAT PART HAS A BELIEVER WITH AN UNBELIEVER?
3. And what agreement has the temple of God with Idols? FOR YOU ARE THE TEMPLE OF THE LIVING GOD..."
   2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (NKJV)

• Although there are some parents who are selfish, who may hinder God's plan for their sons or daughters because of selfish interest!

• Spiritual parents

• Let your pastor, your spiritual father, know about the person you want to marry—do not hide things from him.
• Follow the church procedure for marriage.
• Sisters, if the person you purpose to marry does not see any responsible spiritual figure of authority over your life, such may abuse you and take you for granted—because he has no one to reverence in your life.
• Do not be a spiritual orphan.Submit yourself to a genuine minister of God who can pastor you, father you, and have the spiritual oversight of you.

• You will not choose wrongly in Jesus' name.
Peace!