People who have betrayed you will never be able to give you a sense of security again

In the eyes of many betrayers, betrayal is just a mistake, that is, if you have gone away, and you have gone astray, why are you so stubborn and always unable to make it through?

From the perspective of the betrayers, they certainly hope you don’t take these things seriously—in fact, not because they think such things are not important, but because they are the protagonists of this matter. If you change positions, Do you see how he still said that?

After experiencing emotional betrayal, the most tormenting thing is the inner restlessness afterwards.

It is often said that the greatest happiness that marriage gives a person is the sense of security-if you didn’t know what the real sense of security is before, then after experiencing betrayal, you can use a counter-evidence to let yourself deeply understand, what is it? It is a sense of security, and I understand how important it is to feel secure.

However, betrayal is to completely shatter this sense of security, and, after the betrayal occurs, it is almost impossible for you to retrieve this sense of security from the other party-this is by no means alarmist.

In the past, you trusted unconditionally, but now you have conditions and doubts in your heart. In fact, your heart is worried about the past and the future. You don’t know what happened in the past, even if the other party said that you don’t know, even if you know There is enough, but you are still not at ease. Because you are always an outsider who betrays the relationship, and the truth of the fact is only the two parties who know the truth best-what tortures you more is that you will eventually understand, if you know less, you will be uneasy; if you know more, it is actually more. disturbed.

As for the future, of course you are even more uncertain. Your heart will fall into a duckweed-like state. You are afraid of encountering betrayal again-what kind of person will not betray your feelings? This is a question that many people ask; there is no answer to this question, because as long as a person is still alive, this possibility exists.

However, if a person has never betrayed you, then your trust in him must be the highest; on the contrary, if a person has betrayed you, if you still believe that this person cannot betray you, you can only say that you don’t. Long memory. Therefore, no matter how well the other party does, as long as he has betrayed you, this kind of trust cannot be 100%, and you will never dare to say to yourself that this person will not betray me in this life.

Back to the present, what you suffer the most is the present.

This feeling of restlessness, like a demon, will break into your brain and mind from time to time, torturing you wantonly-you especially want to get rid of it, but there is nothing you can do.

Many people initially thought that as long as the other party can end the external relationship and turn back steadily, they will probably feel at ease in their hearts, so they choose to forgive the other party and redeem the feelings-before this goal is not achieved, or there is no goal. Before completion, this is what you think is the basis for solving the problem.

However, if the other party really turned around and ended the extramarital relationship completely, then you will find out: Why, my heart is not really at ease; why my condition has not improved?

Where is the problem?

The root of the problem is that you can't find the source of your own sense of security-wherever you try to fall, you climb up; wherever you try to lose, you find it back. However, this time, this method and approach are no longer good. It is almost impossible for you to regain the sense of peace and security from the person who betrayed you. This has nothing to do with how the other party treats you. At this time, it is very good to you, and you can't find this feeling again.

Where can this sense of security be re-established?

Of course it's from yourself-you might think it's chicken soup again, but it's not.

Everyone who has experienced emotional betrayal must strive to build a sense of security on himself; facing the past, you can bear it; facing the future, you can be brave and confident; facing the present, you can know what to do, And do your best to do well, this is the reshaping of the sense of security.

A person who is able to give himself a sense of security will not keep his eyes on the other person, and will not guard against the other person from betraying him all the time. They are not afraid of encountering betrayal, but because they understand that what they have to do is not how to stop the other side's betrayal, but how they should respond, deal with, and make decisions in the event of a betrayal by the other side.

Therefore, some people can resolutely choose to divorce; some people can live their lives without divorce-and if they can't find a sense of security in themselves, then, not divorce, in fact, is the same, your heart It is always uneasy, and you will find that there is no choice to make yourself really well.