Speaking of durian, some people love it and some people hate it. When I first saw durian, I was misled by the smell it gave off and refused; As the saying goes, "curiosity kills the cat" met durian again at the eldest brother's house. When I heard that my nephew was going to kill a whole one, my jaw fell off in surprise, and watching him eat like a dog successfully aroused my curiosity.
I want to find out why this stinky thing makes this teenager so fascinated. Don't let my nephew let a piece out, I took the first bite of durian in my life. Sweet and glutinous, "Wow, it's really delicious." Hearing my words, my nephew quickly picked up durian and ran away. Since then, my love for durian has been out of control.
Writing is the same for me. Writing has always been thought to be a high-level thing, which can only be done by educated scholars, and is far away from us. Courage to link writing, only to find that it is so gentle and lovely, let me fall in love out of control. It is no exaggeration to say that writing has changed my life.
001 Let reading continue
When I first started to attend the book club, I set myself the goal of reading 20 pages a day. I finished it very well in the first month, but a month later, because I wanted to do more and more, I stopped reading for almost a month before going to bed.
There is no input, where is the output! During that time, writing became more and more difficult. I wanted to write a lot, but I could write very little. The reason is that there is too little content in my mind. Aware of this, I have to re-plan what I have to do, prioritize and start reading slowly every day. So far, I have finished reading for one hour every day. Although my learning ability is still relatively slow, my heart is down-to-earth, and I know that I am making a little progress.
002 learn to comb yourself
With reading more books and getting more knowledge, I deeply realized how terrible "ignorant self-confidence" is. It affects not only yourself, but also others.
Writing is a process of self-combing. Through writing, I gradually discovered many bad habits in myself, and I was able to face them squarely, began to comb my own problems, and tried to solve them. The most obvious thing is to control your emotions.
My former self never realized that I was under emotional control, which led to the tension with Niu Ge to the point of collapse. In the process of combing my writing, I made a big comb of my former self, and realized that I should be the master of emotions, rather than being led by emotions.
I began to read some books on positive management, and tried to use some of the above methods, with a gentle and firm attitude, and the results were surprisingly good. The tense relationship between me and Niu Ge has improved.
Writing fills my heart, and trivial things in my life are really trivial things, which can no longer disturb my emotions.
If there is no writing, I will definitely not sort out myself, and I will never realize it. And I will always be controlled by emotions, and I can't see the essence of things clearly. It's a terrible thing to live my life in such a muddleheaded way.
003 learn to be harmonious but different
Most of the time, we will judge according to what we see, and think that is the whole truth. We forget that different people have different interpretations of the same things, so we don't have to ask others to be like us, and we don't have to ask ourselves to be like others.
I remember some time ago, my friend told me that she couldn't go anywhere now, and she had to take care of her boyfriend, who hurt his foot and had to cook for him. As soon as I listen, I will be outraged by an injustice for my friend, thinking that before I fell in love, it was "never touching the hot spring water". Now she has no freedom to take care of her boyfriend. As a result, my friend's reaction gave me a lesson.
She is dissatisfied with me being aggrieved for her. She said that I have never seen her boyfriend, and I don't know his kindness to her. She has no grievance in doing this. When two people are together, they should be considerate and take care of each other. Since childhood, she has been spoiled and has a great temper, and her boyfriend is tolerant of her. I don't like my one-sided judgment of her boyfriend.
If I used to, I would be angry, too. I did it for your own good, not for my own good. I took you as my sister before I felt aggrieved. But when she finished, I immediately apologized sincerely, and it was really my own fault. It suddenly occurred to me that when I was in love before, wasn't it the same? Others felt that all kinds of things were inappropriate, and they enjoyed it.
Now, the way of getting along with Liu Da is gradually becoming "harmonious but different". In the past, whenever there were differences of opinion, I always tried to persuade him to agree with me. Most of the time, it ended in discord, and the cold war lasted three days seriously.
Since writing, I have been able to perceive my own heart slowly. If I encounter an emotional error, I can quickly control it and avoid things from going bad. Now we can have a pleasant chat, and the family atmosphere is becoming more and more harmonious. It is the right way to live without saying two words before.
Allowing others to be different from themselves is a respect for others; To allow yourself to be different from others is to respect yourself.
It is a high-level accomplishment not to impose one's will on others.
I have been journaling in the morning for years and definitely feel something is “missing” if I skip a morning for some reason.
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