Well-being refers to a series of joyful and joyful emotions subjectively produced by human beings giving their own satisfaction and security.
In Confessions, Rousseau once expressed the view of happiness that human beings have been holding unconsciously for a long time-happiness is the long-term profound spiritual satisfaction of human heart, which transcends all materials, wealth and desires, and is determined by the free and happy state of mind and the body and soul without burden.
Let's start with the story of a little guy around me.
Z is a poor man, which is the position of many colleagues in the unit.
A few years ago, when all my colleagues were struggling to buy a house in the city, he was the only one who was unmoved because he had no money. This incident made him in the unit like a black bean accidentally sprinkled in a jar of rice, which was so out of place. He really doesn't have enough money to afford a house in the city. I heard that he once had a poor child with a difficult disease, who eventually died after seeking medical treatment everywhere without success. The leakage of the house coincided with the rain all night, which caused the parents to be exhausted, the mother died and the father fell ill one after another. All these changes slowly emptied the family savings. Later, it caught up with the plummeting profits of enterprises, and the unfortunate families couldn't turn over. I remember a few years ago, his old father was ill in hospital and needed craniotomy. Several of our good colleagues were ready to borrow his money. He did open his mouth to us, but unexpectedly, he only borrowed $2,000 from me. I thought I heard wrong, and kindly asked him, is it two thousand or twenty thousand? He smiled shyly: "Two thousand, two thousand is fine." I know the situation of his family and sincerely told him that I could lend him more. He was embarrassed to say no, because the operation was arranged in a hospital in the town, and he only asked an expert to guide him, which probably won't cost much. I don't know what to say at the moment. At that time, I thought, is this the thinking of the poor?
Borrowing money is so stingy.
Two years later, I went to work in the corporate headquarters, and later he came to the headquarters for work reasons. Two years is not a long time, but it was the first time I saw Z in two years. I was amazed at the marks left by the blade of time on his face. He is darker and thinner than before, and the wrinkles around his eyes are so deep when he smiles. Slightly hunched, a dark suit shows the dullness of winter. I don't know whether it is a down jacket or a cotton-padded jacket. Thanks to a pair of glasses with high myopia on the bridge of the nose which is still high, we can see that he has a gentle breath.
After a greeting, I said I would invite him to lunch. I really wanted to invite him from the standpoint of my old colleague and talk casually. But he refused. To tell the truth, Z is my old colleague, but I haven't been classified as an old friend yet. May be the age gap, there are also differences in personality. He has always been a person with a good personal relationship. I remember that as long as there were things like carrying water, cleaning the office and sweeping the snow, he would definitely do more and let other colleagues rest as much as possible. Although his life is not as good as most people's, he has a heart to treat his work and life warmly. He has been working for more than ten years, and still holds the salary of ordinary staff. When some people around him are busy for rising, he never flatters. In the end, he won't do these things. It seems that being promoted to a higher rank is insulated from him. This has a lot to do with his wooden but not tactful character. He is the most natural and primitive human character, and his simplicity makes people feel stupid. But Z is very satisfied with his work, because this is the department work that many people dream of. When he came to this position, he really got it step by step.
Outside of work, he is most proud of his wife and daughter. There is nothing worth mentioning about the romantic past between him and his wife. There is only the mutual affection. He often praises his wife's excellent cooking skills to us. He is afraid that we don't believe him and specially asks her to cook a pot of assorted hairtail for us to eat. He often can't help talking about his lovely daughter's hard work, filial piety and understanding, and at the same time, he is mixed with a trace of guilt about her daughter because of her poor financial ability, but he is full of expectations for her growth and future. He is such a person, living a simple life, but it is really real. You can see an inexplicable positive thing in him, and happiness is very easy for him to get.
Many of us often spit out our dissatisfaction and even resentment towards life, but there are always some humble people who live like refined scholars, live in their own happiness, are full of warmth and gratitude for all things and people, do not fight for it, do not fight for it, and are full of infinite hope for everything in the future. In fact, they are the real wise men.
In reality, sadness and joy, bitterness and sweetness are all relative, and it is the highest level to lead a life of joys and sorrows.
According to an earlier survey report, the most developed cities in China, such as Beishangguangshen and Shenzhen, have the lowest happiness index. For Chinese people, the wealth of material life brought about by the rapid development of economy has not really brought people's spiritual life to a new level. There are many factors that affect happiness, such as economic status, marriage quality, education level, health, emotional intelligence, financial business, and individual gender, personality and age.
Facing the impetuous society, it is always the simplest truth that leads us to improve happiness.
- Put an end to blind comparison.
Modern people get together and chat with their best friends. Many people just go to show off their wealth, status, cars, rooms and children. There is only desire in people's hearts, superficial coping, and no happiness for reuniting old friends. Compared with blindly comparing and showing off wealth, it is even more precious to have a long talk with old friends and encourage each other with the strength of friends. It is foolish to compare with others' happiness and reduce their own happiness. Speaking of my colleague in the story just now, if he blindly compares with others, it is estimated that he will have no last trace of happiness.
- Give preferential treatment to others.
Sincerity is an important magic weapon to improve our interpersonal relationship. We should not be agitated and be patient with our families. To treat friends, we should not be false, but be sincere. When we treat strangers, we should not be presumptuous, but be restrained. We can't let children go, we should be responsible.
A German psychologist said that people can always be immersed in happiness as long as they can handle the relationship between the nearest two dozen people around them.
This year's May Day and National Day holidays, I invited a large family to have dinner twice in a row. Friends and relatives always talked and laughed and were extremely happy when they got together. Although I spent money, my heart was happier than ever before (I seldom took the initiative to host family dinners when I went back to my hometown). Later, I couldn't help writing in my diary: It turns out that spending money with my loved ones is such a happy thing.
- Be content.
We work endlessly all day long, and human desires make many people never satisfied with the present. In the mundane life, learning to be content will make us less confused and troubled. Be content, accompany your family on a free hiking trip on weekends, and give your loved ones a little surprise at a special moment. All these little things are enough for us to remember happily for a long time.
- Don't complain.
There are always some people around who argue with their spouses all day because of some short things in their parents. Look at those people who complain that they have no money all day, but they are not willing to accumulate the original capital to manage their finances. Look at those who complain that they are not always promoted but are unwilling to learn a skill ... Which complaint can change themselves and their environment? Complaining is like a curse of happiness, which makes people who love silence at last, keeps people around them away, and makes the already gloomy living environment even more overcast, without a trace of sunshine.
A life without complaining is a life of forging ahead, and a life of silently realizing small goals in one's heart. There are so many little ones in life, and if you grasp one with your heart, your happiness will burst.
- Give.
I remember reading an article about Wen Zhang. If you feel that life is boring, you can go to the intensive care unit of the hospital to have a look. Dying patients suffering from illness can still face the world positively. As physically and mentally healthy people, what excuse do I have to grieve for spring and hurt autumn here?
If you have time, take the initiative to be a volunteer. If you have the money, you can't give your love. Whether you go to an orphanage to accompany your children or a nursing home to take care of the elderly, while helping others, I believe that your inner gloom and negativity will be cleaned up like never before.
Less desire, happiness will be closer to us!