1.Parents have high expectations for their children
It is human nature to expect a child to become a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix. Everyone hopes that their children will succeed. But the higher our demands on children, the greater the pressure on children.
Just like Qiao Yingzi in "Xiao Huanxi", her mother was very demanding and strict, and she was eventually diagnosed with moderate depression.
On the other hand, Fangyuan values Fang Yifan’s growth and respects his hobbies, which makes Fang Yifan live happily and freely even if he counts down in grade.
2.Parents scold or derogate their children
When others praised children for working hard, we said: What kind of work is used? It is fake hard work. If you really work hard, your grades can be so bad?
For such parents, it is harder to be sure of their children than to reach the sky. So much so that their children are always wondering if they are born with this family.
We must know that for a child, the evaluation of parents is the channel through which he knows himself. If a child grows up amidst the accusations and denials of his parents, he will gradually lose his sense of value, learn to please him when he is young, and go into depression when he grows up.
3.Parents’ emotional neglect of their children
Not every child is born with the love of their parents. In real life, "Fan Shengmei" is often the man who is born as a tool.
Parents will never admit the pain and bad emotions they have suffered, and they will never get the warmth and understanding of their parents.
Such a child is like living on an isolated island, not taken seriously, no one sees, and eventually drowned in a sea of depression.
Although we will not treat our children like the parents of "Fan Shengmei", we will also ignore their children's emotions. It may be unintentional or inertia, but over time it will plant the seeds of depression in the child's heart.
What the article said is true. I have experienced in which those behaviors' are really done by my cousin mother. Her father was passed away when my cousin was still at a very young age and my cousin was raised by her mother. Her mother always underestimate her, scolded her, compare her with her friends daughter and said that my cousin is not as good other people daughter. That's really make her unconfident and have influence to destroy her social relationship with society.
She had an introvert personality, always suspicious to another people and often hide truth to cover herself. I remember once she try to suicide by taking so many medicines at once but her life was able to be saved at that time.
I think that 's become a turning point for her life because I see her finally able to focus on her study and finished it with good grade. She decided to work in another town far away from her mother. And make new friends who have positive activities and thoughts.
A new environment and new friends seemed to help her a lot with her social interactions toward another people. She is looking much better nowadays, many times I see her pics smiling and trying new sports activities with her new friends.
The moral lesson from my story is we can not choose in which family we are born but how we want to fill our life and continue our future are depend on our self. Stop blaming other people because they have their own difficulties with their life that made them becoming negative person, blaming them is only wasting your valuable time. Instead try to find ways to get out from worse situation and find ways to continue your life with the best solution you have at that time (even maybe the situation is very very bad). I believe when a bad situation happened to us and we are able to overcome it then we can become a stronger person in the future.
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excellent article <3, thank you for raising awareness. Here is a paste of a path that helped me a lot and maybe can help someone else fight their triggers. I can't tell you how to write your story but maybe some of mine might point you in a beneficial direction( I hope at least 🙂 ). My mother passed away on August 28th 2019 of stage 4 cancer of the uterus, was really devastated like I had lost most of my world, left a gaping void in me I could only fill by sitting in a sort of petrified blankness. The one thing that kept me moving and got me back on track was wanting to honor her memory and allow memories of her past kindnesses to push me forward. The method I found for killing my depression filling that void, was simple acts of kindness. I found people living through traumas I myself had lived through the like of in the past and I myself had wished for advice during the living of such. by using a past I used to not be able to remember without panic attacks and the lessons those incidents taught me to show others an easier path forward I was able to do something I never expected. Not only did it make it to where the memories I used to fear got easier to look at it. I fell in love with myself, again, all the way. I have dissociative identity disorder ptsd from sexual abuse and have bipolar depression( is just part of having DID in my case) after two decades of fighting with the demons in my mind I have found nothing more personally healing than saving someone from a hell you once lived in where you'd wished for advice during the living of
feel free to save and share, I believe in pay it forward style healing
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