Introduction
As I write this post, you all should know that I'm extremely sad at these happenings in the society today. Soo many people go through alot but hide it from those that care about them or choose not to take action. Here you will be seeing the kind of things I'm talking about.
WIVES KNOW YOUR WORTH
it is practically obvious that women go through alot of things in the family today. Mother's are soo special. Alot of people don't know what their mothers went through when they were little. In families today, you withness alot of little disputes between the husband and wife. Depending on the kind of man, the outcome of such dispute could easily be resolved. Alot of women, get beaten up by their husbands regularly for no just reason. I've witnessed this live, a situation where a woman came back late from work so she wasn't able to prepare food for her jobless husband. As soon as she came in, he pounced on her, pinned her to the ground and started beating her. I was about 6 years old all I could do was look in shock and cry for him to stop. The next day his wife and my mum were having a conversation then she said she was used to his beating.
She then went ahead to say he beats her almost twice a week for the smallest of misunderstandings and arguments but she couldn't leave him because of the children. She also said that he told her to quit her job because a woman cannot be the provider of the family. I and my mum were in serious shock.
When I often look back to that conversation I put myself in her shoes and think to myself, so I will die in my husbands hand for what reason? I am a human being like him so why and what did I do to deserve such inhuman treatment and I start getting disappointed in both her and her husband. You weren't born to suffer in someone's hands always know when to fight for yourself and by this I don't necessarily mean fight back but know when to quit it. If there is no way to change him, leave the relationship. There are many others waiting for you outside who would treat you better because if you die no one would be able to help you then. It's not your fault that your man changed after marriage, it happens alot of people pretend and show their true colours after marriage.
Another situation we see in African homes where newlyweds are living peacefully then the groom's mother comes to invade their privacy on the grounds of coming to see her son. From there, wives start getting different complaints from their mother in-laws about things she as a woman should do and not do. By doing this you are putting the wife in chains by trying to control her actions and killing her freedom. Alot of men will notice this and overlook it because it's their mother and they don't see anything bad in her actions. No woman is the same, you can't let your wife be under external control from anyone whether your mother or friends. You are now a family for better or worse don't make your wife uncomfortable because that is what will happen if you don't draw some lines in your marriage.
VIOLENCE ON GIRLFRIENDS
This one is the height of it, It's just wrong. Imagine getting beaten up by someone who hasn't even paid your bride price or proposed to you. You don't even know if he is using you or planning to end the relationship soon. Women no matter how much he tells you he loves you, never settle for less. You deserve to be treated like a queen. That is how I always try to treat any lady I'm close to. If you see a man who has serious anger issues, know your boundaries, try to change him if you can because if not you will only get yourself hurt. It's things like this that make women think that men are scum. As a man never lay your hands on your girlfriend no matter what.
I have seen a situation where his girlfriend made him lose 6.5 million naira and he didn't lay a finger on her and there might have even been worse case scenarios. Imagine you as a father having 4 daughters and they suffer tremendous beating from their boyfriends. If you are ever angry at your girlfriend, take the anger out on something else. In movies, we see situations where boyfriends with anger issues accidentally kill their loved ones and start regretting after. It is not a good feeling.
Conclusion
This is part I. I will be looking at part II in a day or two. I'm just a student and might not know all the problems wives go through in relationships but just remember to love yourself and know when to say enough is enough because "Na person wey dey alive dey enjoy life o". I urge you all to read this and be sensitized. Thank you for your time.
@bright-obias
@davosimple
@alphafx
@campusconnectng
Domestic Violence is wrong, I hated it with the last blood in me, I hope a lot of guys will read and learn from this post.
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I am happy to read your sentiment. Only an insane person would disagree with you. I hope that lots of women will read this as well. In a reply a little lower down, I describe Domestic Violence as a symptom and not the disease. Even still, it would be best if you protected people from the symptoms too. Separating the families from the "offender" either by having them escape to a shelter or have the "offender" be put in jail seems to be the typical way it is handled. I don't think this is the best option, but that is the way things are.
Consider women who suffer postpartum depression who kill their children. Should they be treated as criminals or people with mental problems? I think that people who commit domestic violence need to be handled the same way.
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As you're rightly said those women kill their children because they're mentally ill. Depression, and especially postpartum depression is a silence killer but sad to say no attention or only little is given to this issue especially here in Nigeria. This is a serious issue and need to be address properly, we can start from ourselves by seeing beyond the surface, by being a friend, by having follow feelings and lastly by being a good listener.
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I totally understand what you are trying to say but in this case I am talking based on personal experience, I haven't been to anywhere else except Nigeria my country plus I'm gonna be looking deeper into it when I drop the part II.
Plus the fact that this article in general is based on women specifically.
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You are right, attimes even children assault their parents mums especially but due to the kind of love mother's have for their kids they just endure it
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Nobody deserves to be treated in an inhumane manner. Women are an integral part of humanity and our society. I enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing your personal experience and stand on such an issue. We need to protect our women at all cost and know that marriage is not a death sentence!! If it brings a threat to your life, it's better you left
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Wonderful write up
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Thank you boss
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I am glad that you are talking about this. It does raise some questions. Historically in Nigeria, did they have a mechanism to deal with this? Perhaps you can ask around, or maybe some of your professors might have an opinion.
I think that it is essential to describe Domestic Violence adequately. If we don't identify the disease, we can't find the cure. Domestic Violence isn't the disease; it is only the symptom. I don't want to seem that I diminish how badly women are treated, but at least in North America, it has been found that women physically abuse men by the same percentage as men abuse women.
As you are aware, I am trying to develop a protocol to create an #UBI. A mechanism to provide a basic income for anyone who chooses to participate on Steem. One of the benefits of a UBI is that it reduces domestic violence. One way is that if necessary the woman (or man) and children can escape the home and still earn enough to cover the necessities (food, shelter, education). Another way is that the person with the inappropriate behaviour can seek treatment and professional help. The final way is that if this behaviour is an inappropriate anxiety reduction strategy, having a consistent income will help alleviate the stress. Poverty reduces IQ by 13 points. Make poverty irrelevant and you are part of the way to curing the problem.
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Everyday a woman is shading herself to fit to a man's world. Sometimes love is not enough. Violence is never the answer. I'm glad you're throwing light on this. I'll look forward to part 2.
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I like the natural flow of this. These kinds of things make the heart too heavy to speak of them but I'm glad you're bringing it to light in such clarity.
Welldone Sway.
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Arigato sensai
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Congratulations, your post has been scrutinized by campus connect Team and found with zero trace of plagiarism.
Your post has been selected to receive booming support.
Keep posting original and creative content on campus connect
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Thanks for the information. Women should be treated with love and care.
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Are you a women activist?😏
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Lol sure attimes sha
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I love your post❤️
Seriously, men who lay hands on their wives or women are cowards.
I hate this with everything in me. I wish those kind of men are opportuned to read this and learn.
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I'm glad we both feel the same way. Thank you for loving it
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