Considering Religion...

If you know anything about me, ok a little more than that then you know I would not.

You will be right in then assuming that this is not about religion but what would it then be about?

Well, it is the closest thing to full fucktard right on the heels of religion. Positive thinking.

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There I was minding my own business walking my smoke circle when my mind started acting a little bit pissy. I asked it what is your problem?

"You know, why don't you really let me think things will be ok?"

"What do you mean? I am always considering how things will be. Like if there is finally a war in South Africa then maybe we will get to kill lots of rubbish people."

"Yes, but you know what I mean. More everyday things, general happiness and stuff."

"You mean like about work, everyday interactions?"

"Yes. You never let me think that work will be nice. Whenever you see anyone you immediately let me think that they are bad people. Like that old lady earlier, you convinced me she woke up with the purpose of irritating you today. Every moment, every thought you make me think is like being at war."

"Shape up or ship out."

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That is out it goes, my brain was not lying. Although it should shut its stupid hole sometimes because I don't have any use for a naive happy-clappy shit brain.

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Positive thinking.

How much do you want to punch me in the face now? If you think positively then maybe I will get stabbed by a random stranger.

Although, I don't think that is what is meant with positive thinking. It is how I use it and my brain can go suck a dick if it thinks that is a problem.

I did give it some real thought, and I smiled while doing it. A grimace to be accurate.

Taking a long drag from my cancer stick I paused for a sec and thought:

"You know what? If I just did my work and consider that I am getting paid and honestly the jobs don't take that long before the customer is on their way then it really ain't all that bad."

The facts would be:

• I get paid to do my job
• I don't get paid to enjoy my job

Ok so how about just thinking positive and that will make me feel better. It is a mindfulness thing after all. Think happy thoughts and be happy.

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No. No. No.

Things are shit and they will always be shit. Positive thinking the way that stupid thought would like me to think is a pointless endeavour.

It is rejecting how I really feel and it rejects the reality of things. That these people that come bother me at work are shit, that the work itself if tedious, that any interests I have are shit and that the world has billions of people walking around that should be dead because they are vile, illogical scum.

For the most part, I do practise positive thinking and I feel better for it. I believe I will get through every horrid day. I will have a moment to go contribute to my cancer before the next dumb cunt walks into the shop. I will finish their work so they can fuck out of my life.

I am positive that the longer I live the less I will see the need to interact with others. I am positive that my existence is pointless and I am positive that tomorrow will be just as shit as the day before.

I know that even if I were to become rich and be fortunate enough to have an amazing life in isolation that humanity does not need positivity. Humanity needs a beating, with a leather belt but I am positive that this will not happen because everyone out there is so happy and positive that things will go their way.

Needy baby greedy baby.