THE MEANING OF WIFE/HELPMEET

The scripture calls a wife 'help-meet.' The word is a coinage from two words: help and meet.

It means suitable or complementary. So God was saying, "I will make for man a helper that is complementary or suitable for him.

In the Hebrew, the word 'help' is "Ezer," while the word 'suitable' is "kenegdo."

So in essence, when God said that he was making for man a helpmeet, the idea wasn't to give man his opposite or an opposite sex. No.

Helpmeet means a complement or someone who suits man.

So a wife is not a man's assistant, his auxiliary, or subordinate. She was not created to assist man. She was created to complement him. I will explain.

Most men think that a wife means the one who stays at home to do chores.

This thinking is caused by certain cultural influences that restrict women to kitchen, bedroom and living room.

So a woman goes to school, gets a good degree, but she ends up in kiosks and shops selling petty items, while the men go for real jobs.

This primordial thinking is also sermonize and taught as God's word in many Christian assemblies. Wrong.

The word "help" - Ezer, in relations to its use for man, communicates something entirely different from what people generally understood it to mean.

When God says, "I will make for man a help that will be suitable for him," he was actually saying that he will give man a complement of himself - someone who will perfect him in areas where he lacks strength.

In every passage in Scripture where the word "Ezer" was used, it is in reference to divine strength. In Exodus 18:4, Moses named his son 'Eliezer' to demonstrate God's deliverance from Pharaoh's siege.

In Hebrew, Eliezer means "My God is my helper": Eli - My God, Ezer - My helper.

Because Moses lacked the strength to deliver himself from Pharaoh, God came through for him as the Ezer who Kenedgo him when he needed strength to surmount Pharaoh.

So when God says that a woman will be a man's help in marriage, the idea is, she will be the complement of the man in the area where he needs strength.

Men are different in capacities. For some men, where they need the complement of a woman is in finances - they need a woman to help them make money because they don't know how to.

For some other, they need help in foresight because they don't have vision.

This also helps to define what role we play in our marriage. God didn't assign specific roles to us in marriage. He didn't say that it's the man's job to wash the car and the woman's job to cook. No.

Roles were set by society as people evolve. If you go to Nairobi Kenya, the roles of men in marriages there might be the opposite in Melbourne.

Gender roles in marriage were not specifically instructed by the Lord. Meaning, people should run their homes according to interest, leisure, time, expertise, and capacity.

Meaning, if the man is a better cook and the woman is not, to complement each other, the man should do the cooking. The woman may be good at making more money for the family; hence, the man should not be ashamed to fix the home while she's away.

The role of women in marriage is complement, not auxiliary, assistant, or domestication.

If this is understood this way, no man will marry someone who reflects his weakness. How can you be financially incapacitated and still be looking for a slay queen who does nothing than paint face and nails and wait for a man to take her out? Error.

In concluding, in the Greek, helper is called parakletos - strengthener, guide, comforter, helper. It is used of the Holy Spirit. He comes as our help to supply us strength to carry through in life. This is the striking similitude of what women are supposed to be to men in marriage.

Hence, finally, the best decision a man or woman can make in marriage is to marry someone who complement him or her. A complement of yourself in a man or women is the right definition of your compatibility.

God bless you immensely.