SEC17 WK:#1: Forgiveness unites family

Pexel

Forgiveness is seen as an act of pardoning an offender. Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general it has to do with an intentional decision (in someone) to let go of resentment and anger caused by another.

Forgiveness can be seen in other forms such as letting go of loans and debts. Forgiving is not an easy task as it requires full decision of the human mind. If you forgive you exhibit mercy which makes MERCY to be the sibling of forgiveness.

• Conditional forgiveness: forgiveness can be granted only when the offender must take certain steps and meet specific conditions
• Unconditional forgiveness: This is a type of forgiveness when the person offended forgives there offender despite the fact that the other person refuses to apologise and feels no remorse or regret for what he/she may have done.
• Divine forgiveness: This is a type of forgiveness from a divine being or higher power.
• Forbearance: This happens when our partner makes a partial apology. Nevertheless, we still forgive.

Pexel

• When you forgive someone, you forgive yourself.
• Forgiving get you out of victim mode.
• Forgiveness frees you.
• Forgiveness helps your health
• Forgiveness helps you move

• Acknowledging the pain
• Thinking through things
• Imagining being on the other side
• Remembering God's forgiveness
• Reflecting our biblical command.
• Letting go of the hurt
• Continuing to forgive
• Praying for the person who may have hurt you.

When I was in secondary school, I tried so much to put my best in my academics, as such I strived never to miss school lessons and also asked questions in class for better understanding because I was kind of a slow learner. One faithful day, my mathematics teacher was in class, he was explaining a particular calculation which was very cumbersome to me.

I told him that I did not understand the lesson, the teacher ranted at me and even cursed me, he said that I will never become anything useful and meaningful in life, stressing that I was a failure and should leave school and look for handwork to do. He called me useless boy and a witch in class. I began asking myself. Philip, are you really a failure? What if what your teacher is saying is actually true(inferiority complex began to set in my heart).

The one that broke the carmel's back was when he said that I'm like my father and mother who are block-headed parents. That incident caused negative damage to me which brought fear to my studying in school. When I fail in his subject, he will flog and make ridicules on me, there was a day he used wood to flog me telling me that I'm an animal. I went home one day and told my mother that education is not for me, I begged her to enroll me I. Vocation.

My mother asked me what happened but I refused to vomit the pain and hurt that was heaping in my heart. As God would have it I was enrolled in another school. The teachers really helped me. I regained my zeal in learning and my confidence coupled with motivation aroused in learning but what my mathematics teacher did made me to have phobia for mathematics even up till today.

God saw me through my WAEC examinations and I wrote JAMB that same year and got admission into the university. I studied under the faculty of education and graduated with good grades(2.1), I also attained my TRCN(teachers registration council of Nigeria) certificate as a certified Nigerian Teacher.

The day I went to NYSC, I remembered what my mathematics teacher told me that I would never go to NYSC with my dull brain, I wondered why my teacher would hate me so much, it was so painful such that I vowed never to forgive him. I returned from service and was employed as a teacher in the school that my mathematics teacher's son was schooling.

His son was slower in learning than me..But I went closer to him and put him through some difficulties he had. The boy was so close to me that he wanted me to be his lesson teacher since he was preparing to write WAEC examinations. I told him to bring his parent so that we could have a chat and look for the way forward.

When the father arrived, it was the mathematics teacher who almost destroyed my life.
He couldn't recognize me but I made him to and he was so ashamed and went home. I cried and narrated the incident to my pastor who advised me to forgive and let go. It was not easy but I forgave him. I continued helping the boy and he passed the examinations with flying colors.

One day, My mathematics teacher came to the school I was teaching and tendered apology, I told him that I had Forgiven him he was surprised and thank me, I told him to also forgive those that wronged and offended him he went home in awe.

CONCLUSION

Forgiveness is part of human life. It brings peaceful coexistence and development in our society. In my own view, it stops hinder negative curses and pain. You can not forgive someone without firstly forgiving yourself, Forgiveness is an internal issue not physical. We have all been wronged one way or the other in our lives but we must strive to let it go to be free.

Pexel

We should however exhibit unconditional forgiveness as it is the best form of Forgiveness amongst humans. In my true life story that I just shared, I discovered that after forgiving my teacher I felt inner peace within me, my life was changed, the negative thoughts were no longer there, I was a free man because I was loosed from the pains of the past.

** Yes, Alexander Pope** said " to err is human, but to forgive is divine", I strongly stand against this because we can forgive and if we forgive one another, I strongly believe that the world will be a better place. If you want to have a peaceful life, learn to forgive always.