Three or four years ago, a friend talked about his cousin's relationship. I had met his cousin and knew him well. He was a very intelligent, well-educated boy. As they detailed the kind of relationship they wanted, I thought of one of my MPhil students who had just finished her degree a few weeks ago. I took some basic information from my student, told him about the relationship, took the address etc. and with his permission took my friend and his cousin's parents to their house. Later also there were several meetings for this relationship. I will write a brief description of them.
Talked about the relationship with the parents of the girl. Told that the boy is educated, works at a good post. The family is also small. A younger sister with parents and a boy. House in a good colony and job also in the same city. It was an ideal situation. The girl was also good-looking, well-mannered and intelligent. I thought that the support for the relationship would immediately fill. But the girl's father said that our daughter's education has been completed now. Now he has to do his job and then he will think about his marriage.
The boy's parents said that by the way, our son earns well and the daughter-in-law does not need a job, but if she wants to do it for the sake of her hobby, we will not mind. She can fulfill this hobby after marriage.
The girl's mother said that we have not made any preparations yet. No special dowry has been made. If she works, she will make her dowry and some money will be collected for the marriage expenses.
The boy's mother said that our house has just been built. There are two portions. The above portion is made for the son only. It has all the essentials and is brand new. You come and see our house, but if you feel something is missing or need something special, we will buy it before the wedding. In the rest of the marriage expenses, the right of dower and walima is on the boys. We don't need anything from you, just simply support the daughter's departure.
After that, there was no room for denial by the girls. The cast was also the same. The girls had no objection to the boy or his family. The girl was my student, so from what I had talked to her, it seemed that she had no objection to this relationship. But despite all this, the girl's father refused, saying that he did not spend so much on his daughter's education so that she would get married as soon as her education was completed. Despite a lot of effort, they did not agree to the marriage.
. . .
This situation was very surprising for me. That is, what is spent on the daughter's education is also a kind of loan that the daughter should return by working. Later, I came across many relationships where the girl worked, her parents would reject each and every relationship, just because if she got married, the family's income would be lost. They even marry off their younger sisters, but they remain poor women with jobs
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