PRETTY MUCH DONE This is just showing the inner thigh that is detached. The hamstring ...

in hive-142013 •  5 years ago 

... is also detached from buttocks, the PSOSA muscle torn, and i have the same kind of injury to my rotator cuff. Ortho is going to do the appointment one area at a time. Im just tired. So ill be hanging up my hat a while. I just hurt too much when I move. I can breathe right. I cant dress myself. I ask the only person I have for help and I feel like an idiot, I feel like a nuisance constantly. I have to save my movements to take care of myself. Not typing. Etc.... its just too much. Im so tired no one could ever imagine the breaking point im at. No one. I'm just not happy anymore. I feel nothing but pain when I try and I dont have the best support system. Crappy wheel chair. Its just too much. Im sorry. Im so sorry I feel like im giving up but im not, I just have to take care of myself. This isnt fair and all I wish for is some magical person , lift me up out of this house and fix me. It sounds like a ufo abduction haaaa. Shit maybe they have better medical. But im just done. I mean my entire leg muscle group feels detached from the abdomen, pelvis, c-section. And i didn't even show you guys the back... its embarrassing as hell. Im literally tearing off my bones and these doctors do nothing. I just cant anymore. So I'm cutting back projects. Im sorry if I let everyone down.

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omg all the best for you 🙏✨

You are a fucking warrior. You've got this. Just be sure You are as comfortable as possible and if being online have not been making you feel any better... don't force yourself. We are always here. But I don't want to see You go because I love what You do. Stay strong in there and soon, hopefully all will turn around for the better. 😘

I love you!!! you sassy sexy heart of gold. Always pepping me up. I appreciate you !!!! I will, and when i do, im coming to london. Haaaaaa bro.... that.... omg... haaaaaa .... fun times im telling ya.

Oh gosh. I'm so sorry. I feel so helpless from here. What can we do to help? Idk, this is not right :(((((

I know.... the back is worse... its more embarrassing. Hey atleast now I know I didn't lose my ass its there just not in the right place 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Then get you, all three... haaaaaa... lets do London. 🌟🌠💚

wow, I hope you really get better, very careful and no sudden movements, I follow you

When you guys reach out it hekps me fight on. It does. More than you guys understand. I appreciate every last one of you.

Never give up! The toughest battles are given to our strongest soldiers! Take your time and let your body heal. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed at any moment. I am sending you much love, positive energy and motivation! Get well soon 🙏🏾

I'm totally speechless to be honest. I can't imagine the excruciating pain you must be experiencing everyday. I have a few family members that are in pain all the time - I have a family member with arthritis in every joint. It's total hell.

So is it that the doctors can't fix you because they don't know what to do, or they won't fix you because of some money issue (insurance and whatnot)?

Well you see its all in the politics. Im disabled. So I have Medicare which is federal insurance and I can go anywhere in US for treatment but they only cover 65 percent. So I have medicaid which is state, and its the supplemental thst will pick up the 45 percentage if im in Nevada. The hospital i need to go to is in Arizona. You see it isnt just that muscle. My c section is torn open, small bowels are herniated through abdomen, i have a complete large muscle group tear, hamstring and inner thigh buttocks. And matching injury in the rotator cuff/shoulder. Because of all this I currently walk around with a partially collapsed lung. I already pass out, that lung just made it worse. The doctors here never fixed anything just watch, stabilize and let go.

That's heart breaking. Sounds like you've fallen through the cracks of a faulty healthcare system. In the UK, you'd have gotten a full treatment, and for free. It's not actually free, people that work and pay taxes also pay a National Insurance contribution. It might take a while, and you might be on a long queue, but you'd get all your treatment that you need.

I'm so sorry to learn of your extensive injuries.

Sending you love and light 💛💫

Thank you I need it for sure

...ooh, best wishes from here..follow you...

I'll still be curating. Just not videos and such. Im just so tired. Ill be back. I have a lot of self care to do. And traveling to get the medical help I need

...wish you the best, it’s still one of these moments I would like to be Superman or like this to help and heal the world around me...the only little positive thing is that In these times we all should do our recovering program....

Please get well soon. So sorry about what you are going through right now. Much ❤ from here

Strength, Courage and Faith. You will get ahead.

🤟🌠🖤 I'm trying. Its just so hard to pass through the pain. Its bad distracting. Exhausting.

I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling. Just know that you will get through this and your Appics family is here to virtually support you! You are stronger than all your injuries, your mind is more powerful than your body, you will heal and get better. Sending you blessings, lots of love and healing positive energy 🙏🏽 ❤️

OMG !!! I wish I could be with you always :'(

Ouch! Yeah seen your post on IG. Hope you feel better soon my dear.

Ive been like this and getting worse for months and months. The medical in the US isnt what they say. They lie. Its bullshit and this shouldn't be like this

I'll ask for my colleagues in the healthcare industry about this. What is your main concern.

The inner thigh, hamstring is completely detached. It can only be fixed surgically. My Csection is torn open, and the PSOSA muscel group is torn. Then I have a similar injury to the rotator cuff. It needs surgery. But in US unless you have $$$$ they don't fix you.

I'll ask my cousin in Washington about this. She's a physical therapist there.

Ty hunny