Fire and Flames

I'm standing in my grave with a needle in my arm tempting fate,

Wishing for a gun to be baptized in flames but I'm too much of a coward to go out that way,

So I push the plunger and fade away,
To a place where my problems don't control my day,

Knowing in the end I'm eventually going to feel the same, because these problems don't just go away

Mental health and drugs have imbedded these demons in my mind and they are here to stay

Why won't they leave me alone? I don't know what to do, this animal called addiction is always a lose-lose.

Im told that the way out is to turn to God and give in, but it always seems like the monsters are closer than Him,

Some days I hit my knees and try to pray but the voices I hear are to loud so instead I rage

Inside my mind I scream and I shout, then with a somber look I realize that they have won without a doubt

I sit there in silence and examine my life and realize that there is no point in causing myself so much strife,

Somewhere in my mind, I know that they will win and to fight them is suffering, Im terrified that they won't stop hovering,

In my mind the fight is lost so I quit and give in, and I calmly walk back to the grave to die with a needle under my skin........

Colton DeCroo
08/3/21