Hello my steemians from Ukraine! I am actually new in this community. This is my first post in this noble group. Hope it may interest you to know how marriage is conducted in my area. Stay tune and let's explore.
Marriage, they say is the coming together of a man and a woman to live together in other to become husband and wife. Marriage in Ibibioland, a densely populated Southern part of Nigeria is very unique owing to its rich tradition that permeated generations. Marriage in my community follows steps that graduated into a full-fleged celebration. When a man sees a woman he wants to marry, he must go through steps before he is called a husband.
STEP 1: KNOCKING OF DOOR
The very first step a man takes in marriage in my community is called DOOR KNOCKING. What does it mean? Here, a man accompanied by few of his nuclear family members goes to visit his would-be spouse family, seeking their consent to marry their daughter. Of course, he goes with a traditional hot drink to appease his would-be spouse's father. The family in response, informs him to come back a few weeks for either a positive or a negative response (yes or no).
STEP 2: INVESTIGATIONS
In their quest to give their daughter to a responsible, disciplined, and an unquestionable man, who wouldn't maltreat their daughter, the spouse parents go to make some findings in secret about the family background of their would-be son-in-law. When they verify the uprightness of this family, they now send for the young man to come for another visit; this time accompanied by his parents
STEP 3: THE ORIGIN OF THE UNION
The second visit of the man to his would-be father-in-law marks the beginning of a legal relationship between a man and a woman. On this day, the spouse's parents invited members of their extended family to witness the confession of their daughter to marry a man. The groom's parents in reaction, present some light gifts as well as drinks as the discussion continues. The two persons involved (bride and groom) agree before their parents that they are ready to marry each other. At the end of this meeting, the couple are prayed for.
STEP 4: COLLECTION OF LIST
Another important step towards marriage in my community is list collection. On a different day of visitation to his would-be father-in-law, the man is given a list containing items to be given to the bride's family. This list is commonly known as dowry. Items on this list contains gifts to bride's parents, bride's age mate, village youths, and the village of the bride. Gifts to different people including the village, comes from the belief that a child belongs to the community who collectively raises her to this level of marriage. Therefore, everyone deserves to be appreciated. After a round table talk between the two families (bride's and groom's), agreement is reached. When the items on the list is presented to the bride's parents, it is certain the man is sure to take his wife in marriage.
STEP 5: MARRIAGE CEREMONY
The next and final stage is the celebration. On a fixed date, the man and his wife invite their friends, colleagues, church members, to a celebration of their union. It is a day every young woman of marriageable age looks forward to. A woman is satisfied and fulfilled in life if this day comes to materialize in her life. On this day, various traditional cuisine are cooked and served to the invited guests.
STEP 6: OFFICIAL HANDING OVER
On this day of celebration, the climax comes when the bride is formally handed over to the man in marriage, when they had declared their intentions to love and live together forever as husband and wife. A prayer is then offered to them by a clergy for fruitfulness. At the end, they are lavished with gifts by the guests . At this point, a man is officially qualified to be called a husband.
Thank you fellow steemians for reading and learning a whole lots. Drop a comment on the page. @okokon