Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 45: Marriage and it's Environs

Greetings,Steemians! Cheers to another accelerator contest session with regards to marriage. Here, are my thoughts.

Marriage is the bedrock of the society like we've always been taught. The only way a society can have citizens that give meaningful contributions to the society is when the marriage are built and upheld by certain practices which in turn affects their offsprings. Successful marriages breed offsprings that are void of the effects of broken homes and having parents with attitudes that are not commendable. These offsprings end up having notions of a successful marriage not being possible and the only way to correct this is having successful marriages talked about. Successful marriages do not come by easily, it comes with work.

What do you think makes a marriage successful?

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Just like people usually say, "marriage is work, to stay in marriage, you have to work". Having a successful marriage only becomes a reality when the couple put in the amount of effort needed for the marriage to work. If the work is done by just one of the couple, at some point, the one putting in the work will get tired and this would lead to the marriage getting broken. For a marriage to be successful, the couple should be able to practice;

1. Effective communication: communication in marriage has to do with passing information about situations, feelings and emotions to each other. The ability of the couple to have good communication skills amongst them is very important. Knowing how to communicate with clarity and love could prevent conflicts when crucial matters are being discussed.
2. Being a support system: sometimes, setbacks could occur and maybe one partner may be facing a challenge that seems insurmountable and would need the partners emotional support and intellectual support to pull through with the challenge. When these supports are not provided by the other partner, the one having the challenge ends up having the notion that the partner doesn't care about hos welfare, feels neglected and could end up seeking support from someone else.
3. Telling each other words of affirmation: words of affirmation shows how much we love and yearn to be with someone. Words of affirmation may not be asked for in marriage by partners but they are definitely needed to make each other feel loved, seen and cared for.
4. Being able to resolve conflicts: being able to resolve conflicts intelligently is one very vital skill needed in marriage. Learning to argue intelligently and and coming to a point of common understanding cannot be overated. Apologizing when wrong and when not at fault is important to keep the marriage at peace.
5. Being able to manage inlaws: marriage is between two matured people but the immediate members of the two persons are always involved in the marriage and so being able to manage the immediate members of each family is necessary to keep the home at peace.
6. Trust and honesty: without trust and honesty in a marriage, there will be every tendency of chaos existing in the home. Lack of trust, which is breed from lack of honesty, would raise suspicions and bring about quarrels.
7. Respect for each other at all times; whether convenient or not.

Being intentionally about getting it right in marriage is a driving force that would help partners put in the work.

How can couples improve communication in their marriage?

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The need for communication in marriages is very necessary as this is one attribute that would aid the correct transfer of information. Having effective communication skills ensures the transfer of information in clear terms and with love. For couples to improve communication in their marriages, they should;

1. Prioritize their partners: the first person who should know about any occurrence should be their partners. Placing their partners as a priority and having that excitement to tell their partners about past and recent occurrences aids communication in marriages.
2. Give attention always: giving attention while the other partner is communicating determines how interested the other partner will be in communicating.
3. Do not be quick to condemn: partners are to be swift to listen and slow to speak when having discussions. Picking offenses and spewing words of condemnation without critically thinking about the situation at hand would only breed fear and the rate at which they communicate will be affected.
4. Building trust and honesty: having trust in a marriage will help improve communication as there is nothing one can hide from the other and the other wouldn't see any need to doubt want is being communicated.

Discuss the importance of trust in a marriage.

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Lack of trust in a marriage can cause some damages. Trust is important in marriage because;

• it provides emotional security for both partners.
• it aids communication.
• when there is trust, conflicts can be resolved easily.
• trust is the bonding mechanism in marriage.

How do couples navigate conflicts in a healthy way?

There is no marriage without conflicts or misunderstandings and so the ability of the couples to manage conflicts in their homes determines how successful their marriage will be. I believe couples can navigate conflicts in a healthy way when they see each other like they see themselves and understand they both have flaws, try to understand the perspectives each of them is coming from, try not to defend to heir actions or inactions, make sure no one brings up past conflicts, get to find a point of common understanding and being always ready to apologize and forgive. With these, conflicts can be resolved easily.

Do you consider distance between spouses and cultural differences a problem in marriage? Why?

Having a partner you can spend time with, communicate with and find love in with reservations or restrictions is actually a blessing.
I consider distance between spouses and cultural differences a problem in marriage.

Long distance marriages tend to have issues like lack of communication, the physical touch and expressions of emotions would not be felt adequately and time spent together might be limited. This can be overcomed when both parties pit in the work to make sure they communicate often and work their ways into staying together.

Cultural differences could pose problems in marriages when not manage well. Learning a new culture, language, dressing style, delicacies and approach to marriage could be difficult and may sometimes breed conflicts. To surmount this, couples with different cultural backgrounds should be ready to adapt without complains, to learn happily, help teach, give room for flaws and respect and honour the culture of the other partner.

Although I am not married yet, I have watched my parents and other couples navigate through their marriages and to the best of my knowledge, these have been their way of staying successful in their marriages. Having a successful marriage would help correct the trend that marriages these days do not last and this is a positive effect on the society.

I want to invite @dwings, @nsijoro and @imadear to participate in this contest. Thank you @Steem4nigeria for having me.