Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 41: Navigating Through Conflicts

_{picture design by me, edited on pixellap}

He is my friend, my neighbor, my business partner, my joy giver and paddy but when there's an argument it turns to another thing, why? Argument and conflict are in the same line. I have a friend whereby we share almost everything in common, we look quite alike and our bond was so strong. You know that kind of friendship, my gee, my guy, that's how we use to called our self. We were so closed. But at some point we had a misunderstanding, guess what happened?

	picture of me and my friends

we have been looking at ourselves without a word for almost 3 week now. what causes the argument and how do we handle it? This is actually a hot gist so I will advise you to follow the post to the end.

If I told someone that am a stammer, he will be shocked, why, because I can speak fluently but you'll only notice it when am angry.. I will be like...... so.. so.. so. I tried as much as possible to hide that flaw, as such if there's an argument, I may not respond immediately because if I do, I may end up stammering. And when I cannot express myself as a result of stammering, I will be more angrier. In order to avoid it, I stay muted, quiet and silent during arguments.
_{when am angry}

I went to my neighbors to take some Garri because our neighbor gave me moi-moi, when I get there, one of his brother was saying that I don't always like talking to him unless when I come to collect garri, you know when you need help from someone and he use that thing to make fun of you. The anger was boiling inside me, I wanted to reply him but I kept quiet and walked away. I went to another place to buy the garri and took my moi-moi. Deep down I was so angry but I manage to control my anger by being quiet and silent.

No matter how strong a friendship is , there will be a disagreement. It's happens in marriage between husbands and wife, family, and friends. So I must say, if you and your friends doesn't have a disagreement before, my dear, you people have not yet started.

Listening carefully during a disagreement will help to resolve and know what exactly causes the conflict, how it's started and who is at fault.

My neighbor in my story later came to beg me after he realised his mistake, I didn't say anything when I left, after an hour he came to my shop to apologize,i ask him why said all that and he explain that is because I don't always socialize with him like I do with other people. I agreed with him because I know I don't always gave him attention and we reconcile.

In an argument, understanding someone else feelings helps in resolving conflict in a way that, you will get to know whether the people is doing or offending your on purpose or unaware. In my own case, remember my friend in the introduction, after been muted for 3 week, I tried to find out what happened exactly and I come to realize that he had face a lot of challenges with his boss that week. When I knew about it, I didn't wait for him for talk to me first before I replied, I started greeting him, from there, we reconciled.

So understanding someone else feelings will help me and you to imagine ourselves in other person situation.

For me, being quiet and silent is very effective. though you might want to express yourself and at that point you might say something that will fuel the argument.

Think before saying anything, I might decide to answer when there's an argument or disagreement, but I do that when am calm. It is better to listen to what other people want to say so as to know how to react.

In conclusion, disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, even the strongest ones like marriage. Listening carefully during arguments helps to understand each other's perspectives and feelings. As such, by staying calm and silent, we can control our emotions and avoid escalating the situation. And the most important point is a better way to control anger during arguments is being silent, thinking before speaking, and listening to others so as to react calmly.

Am inviting @emishael60, @ogechukwu-martha and @woka-happiness.

Cc;
@steem4nigeria
@wilmer1988

All pictures are mine