What is a fig jam?

in hive-148441 •  4 years ago 

It could be a perfect complement to cheese and biscuits or an acronym for "Fuck I´m great just ask me". Today I'm writing about people I have nothing in common with.
I believe there are four criteria to be met before you can categorise someone as a "fig jam". A person who…

figjam3776031_640.jpgImage by jeahwan shin from Pixabay

  1. Has imaginary conversations.

Picture the scenario, you're walking past someone and they are talking loudly with their phone pressed to their ear trying to sound self - important and their phone rings. They have just indulged in another imaginary conversation!

2.Brags about what they have.

One could be materially rich, blessed with a wonderful house, an amazing lifestyle but that doesn't impress me. Give me a person with a dose of humility any day of the week. Someone who is humble, down to earth is far more appealing to me than someone who tells me about their "narcissistic" life.

3.Brags about charitable donations.

To the celebrities out there and others that have donated to charitable organisations, "kudos" to you. Addressing the "fig jams" out there who have boasted on social media about their donations some authors advice. "Charitable donations are given from the heart". There is no need to shout from the rooftops about what wonderful people you are. Many people give of their time unconditionally and donate anonymously. It's not about how many "likes" or "followers" you have on Instagram.

I prescribe a trip for all the "fig jams" out there to a few choice locations I have been to. Visit the slums of Venezuela, townships of South Africa and spend two weeks living in these conditions and then maybe you will realise what matters. There are people here who despite not being materially rich are the most wonderfully humble people you will meet.

4.Use "I" more than 10 times if you were to interview them.

If you possibly suspect someone to be a "fig jam" try and have a 30-minute conversation with them. You will be astounded at how many times they refer to the first person in the conversation.

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