"Stop questioning our government, that is selfish."
"Not wearing a mask is so selfish."
"So what, you are missing graduation (or any other event you had been looking forward to, THATS SELFISH!"
"Stop being so selfish and start thinking about others."
"Your thinking is so $&#$Y up and selfish."
Maybe it is the social media manager in me talking, but I am noticing in the last few months the world selfish being thrown around in a lot of conversations lately like it is a weapon. People are intentionally trying to wound people who don't think the way they do. They are willing to end long time friendships because someone isn't falling into line with them.
Self-Care?
Don't even think about it. That's selfish
Instead of listening and trying to seek to understand where someone is coming from?
Nah, its easier to call someone selfish.
This hit me personally a few times in the past few months. I work in social media in the event industry, and it is an industry that is basically shut down for at least the rest of this year and probably next. I am furloughed, friends have had their work vanish, or their businesses go under. People have been facing mental health issues (myself included) because they do not know what the future is going to look like. I have watched as people have thrown the word selfish and uncaring because people are sad and scared about their future and the future of their friends and family in the industry.
And personally, I am a caregiver for an elderly father. I have been doing this for ten plus years, so I have a pretty good system of talking to doctors, knowing what I need to know, figuring out when I need to worry and when I need to not worry. I also have always had a point hammered home that I need to make sure I do things that take care of myself as well, and for me, that is running and fitness and, for that matter, my love of professional wrestling.
But lately, people who don't know the situation are intent on telling me what they think I need to do.
"You can't go outside and run, YOU COULD CATCH COVID! HOW SELFISH ARE YOU?"
"Why would you put your dad's health at risk STAY HOME!"
For the record, I do everything I need to (and this has been confirmed by all the doctors involved). I wear masks inside. I socially distance when I am outside, I avoid the busy roads, I only head out to places when I need to. I wash A LOT.
But people have been friends with me for years have bashed me for taking time for self-care and things that fill my cup because they feel like its selfish. The problem is, and every doctor we work with tells me the same thing. As long as I am aware of doing things safely, it is okay.
But again, selfish is the weapon word.
Point of all this random trash?
Maybe we need to not be so quick to think something is wrong or selfish and stop to listen to why people think the way they are. It is so easy to use the word selfish. And for those of us on the other end of those words, sometimes you have to step back and not take others so personally.
Maybe someday we can be like this again.
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