Unwritten Rule: Bundle of Joy - Comment

My Comment to @vwrites her post

🤣 I love you and you sound like my daughter, two of them I raised them well (says mom).

My daughter asked me: When was it you gave up on drawing, painting, dancing, having fun?
My answer: The moment you were born.
It made them sad and think.

Children do not only bring joy it's a big lie.

The pregnancy is vomiting, the delivery a battlefield (with the lazy midwife) always exhausted from the moment of pregnancy.

Everything forgotten

the pain once you hold your baby? Who is kidding who? It's the same nonsense as 'better poor and happy, than rich and sick'.
Next the fight against society about names, jabs, health, how to raise, swimming lessons, bullied at schools, teachers with a way lower IQ than my children, the fight to be left-handed, for creativity, against Christianity, food we don't eat, the fact I work, dad is absent, we do not do Father's day, humiliation of my children by stupid teachers (who didn't meet me yet), the loneliness of my children, indeed always dirty clothes, eating leftovers and sacrificing own health...

I did not see all the truckloads of happiness

children bring to one's life. Not to my life, not to all those parents I know. I see worries, pain, shedding tears, sorrow, more worries, sacrifices, sleepless nights, burnouts, loads of stress, women changing into unhappy broken unloved creatures and parents trying to make their child smile. I see men walking out starting new while women struggle on and every elderly I spoke to said: never again. That joy? If it was present it didn't last long and couldn't survive the years and wipe all the heaviness of years of sacrifices out.

What my first sure brought me back then was 'freedom', a home for me (I pushed and asked and pushed and said I would go camping in front of the mayor's house with the baby).
As soon as children start school (4 with us) they start a life of their own and you are the 'vraag baak - pis paal - reddende engel - till no longer needed.
With us, it is normal at the age of 18 children leave and take care of themselves. That's the idea of raising, standing on own feet discovering the world and living life your way.

My children became my best friends (very best the 3 youngest) and buddies and know how I feel. They also know that if I could do it over I would have no children or 1 at most (that ticket to freedom) but no man, no way. The one I had is worse than 15 children and daily I am relieved I left (that wasn't acceptable and the results are still felt).

_{source AI must know me by now that 2 monkeys show up as I ask for 'a bundle of joy', again no chocolate.}

If I look at my life

the lives of my children x happiness, the joy they bring?
It's worries, sleepless nights, worries, more worries and fighting for their rights. We do laugh a lot but each one of them has to fight to be who they are. There's room for the average man or better underneath average but not for intelligent, creative people.
All my children were labelled as too stupid to learn and be educated how strange they turned out to be the best after I taught them for several weeks...

My son's school file literally said: The child has a strong will it has to be broken by all means (primary school).

Fights like these are exhausting and it's never ending. We talk about it daily and I am glad if they do not have children, they should not sacrifice themselves, their wishes and their dreams. No child can make up for that and in how many cases are children forced to live the life parents failed?

A principal said to me (shaking her head pitying me): Poor you having to deal with such children!😲
(I thought: Idiot you have no idea whom you are talking to).

What is good is that these are my children.
If not they would be locked in a mental institution or dead. Society is killing and demanding and lies at one peace.
There's nothing great about being only a mom 24/7 without ever a break. No way you can go to the toilet, take a shower or sit 5 minutes doing nothing. Ask mothers with us what is their biggest problem it's not having 5 minutes to poop! How bad is that?
Always someone banging at the door (men are the worst badly raised by their parents), never a normal night's rest (5 hours at most) and you end up with a damaged body if not dead.
Take a dog. It will bring more joy, company and protection. It's fun, he's always happy to see you and sits at your feet. Or take a cat even easier.

_source

Since you mentioned chocolate...

Those spots on your clothes aren't yours because you drool or the chocolate melts and you had to wipe your fingers... As a mom, you did not have a bite!
It's an unwritten rule for wives and mothers to give everything away. I tell you that doesn't bring joy, it stinks.

Yesterday my son brought me marzipan covered with chocolate and said: You can eat it alone.
It says enough about the always sharing.
It's what a 2-year-old with us is told: You should share!
My children did but guess what? No one shared with them! So I told them: You don't have to share with anyone, you can eat that bag with candies alone. It is yours.

Happiness is a choice...

They say, so go for what makes you happy. Society will not come to your aid if you don't manage. They will blame you and say: It was your freechoice.

Children taking care of their parents if old?

It's the biggest lie I heard but as widespread as everyone can make a living on Steemit.
Children have no time to care and if living with parents it's for the child's benefit (cook, cleaning lady, babysitter, home, living on parent's expenses/their pension).
If not useful or the parent needs care s/he is dumped. They are tied to a tree like a stray dog, locked into a broom closet or dumped in a 'home' where they are never visited and no one feeds them (I worked in those homes beware me).
Those 'great' children? The missing? Children only complained during the lockdowns because they couldn't visit their parent (that one they never visited before).

Bundle of Joy

They are no bundle of joy and shouldn't be forced into that position. Indeed it is selfish and parents bringing joy, making right what is wrong is ridiculous.
Both children and parents are rarely what we expected. We fool ourselves, keep up appearances and don't dare to admit it all is far from what we expected if we can still remember what that was.

Death among mothers, death while giving birth just like being disabled is high. It's taboo and not allowed to say so out loud because a child stands for "happiness" the highest step on the ladder to success.
If that were the case why is it that girls, women, and mothers aren't treated like goddesses and dumped, exploited and kicked aside as useless? The face of the unwritten rule seems to change like a weather vane changes direction in the wind. t's
A child is a bitter-sweet joy most people can't handle. Many parents do not have time to spend with their children and no idea what they are up to or how they feel. Children are raised by siblings, grandparents, neighbours, schools, scouting, summer camp, religious leaders, trainees, government, society...

New life shouldn't start just to make a child work for the parent. A child can't live a parent's dreams because that parent feels or ended up a loser. Even if the child makes it an architect you as a parent didn't succeed because you didn't realize your dream.

_{The comment is a bit long and I lost the overview in the small comment section on my phone.}

Header/Photogrid: Canva
Pictures: AI-generated by me - bing.com/create
2-8-2024
I am a mobile phone user only

I upvote comments and (good) entertaining stories. @hive-169911 is my hive (community). I will grow its SP to upvote stories only. Please, do NOT post in it!
If you wrote something good you can tag me, original (no AI-written) stories/tales only. You do not need to join a club to be read and upvoted and you can post wherever you like. I suggest the freewriters or @hive-107855 the Dream Steem. Use the tag # story
Happy Writing @wakeupkitty

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