Anger & Persona To My Writing Advantages

Reno Raines ride into the sunset.
Source: 4.bp.blogspot.com

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Dear diary...
(scratch)
Screw it!
I'm not gonna tell you how boring my day was.
Why cursing!?
Why a grumpy face!? it's a bad start.
I know.
Start positive, right!? I know...
I just don't care.
I want to write. Something, anything.

You know, when I'm slacking off, procrastinating or in a bad mood for no particular reason.
I see writing as working out.

I need power, I need strength.
How do I get it?

Sometimes, not all the time.
I turn anger into strength.

Why anger?
Maybe I have an inner Hulk in me. That fictional green buff dude.
Remember when Captain America said :

"Dr. Banner, now it might be a really good time for you to get angry."

and Banner calmly turn to the Capt'n

"That's my secret. I'm always angry."
Source: tenor.com

I'm not making that stuff up.
Ask my friend, anyone you know.
I'm not a quiet type, not that anti-social to that extreme, no. Just not that often talkative kinda guy.

Whoa...,
I never flip tables if I lose an argument. I'm not gonna punch somebody if they somehow push my button and trigger me. I'm not asking for a fight to deal with my temper.

Am I a hot headed guy? Maybe, maybe not. It's all only happening in my head.

What do I do then?
How do I cope and ease my inner anger lingering in my mind you might ask.

I tamed this explosiveness and turned it into action. Most of the time I do exercises; go outside running, ride a bicycle a few kms while enjoying classic music, or workouts at home, throw a few punches to a heavy bag. In a way to exhaust my energy till it runs out.

Well, this exact time as you're reading this. I exhaust my mind by writing some stuff.

Like I mentioned earlier, I see writing as working out, because I believe it took so much effort and many hours of practice.

If I want to be stronger, let's say I want to be able to lift a certain weight goal. Obviously we gotta take time to train lifting kilo by kilo or in American way of saying it pound for pound (P4P). Maybe I got the term wrong but you know what I meant.

Progressive overload, that's the term I looked for. Which means you gradually increase the weight, frequency or number of repetitions in your strength routine.

So, what does that have to do with the writing?
When you, or I really want to go pro in writing, or at least my writing gradually has "strength" in it. You got to do the routines. Every single day, progressively. Even when I like doing it or not, good mood or bad mood.

Inspiration eventually will come along the way. Take a piece of paper, grab a pen or pencil, anyway you prefer.

Just Do It!
Source: genius.com

Look, I know you may find grammatical errors here and there and hate hearing this. Hate may be a strong word. You hear this alot before. I am not a native english speaker. I learned english my whole life and I still suck at it.

My earliest memory, when I was a kid I learned (no, I choose a word "absorb") english ever since I watched an "old school" TV series starring Lorenzo Lamas - Renegade (1992) aired on RCTI at 9pm right after late Presiden Soeharto broadcast daily reports on every national tv until I fell asleep.

One time I remember laying on the floor without a mattress in front of the TV. My dad picked me up to bed, I woke but still closed my eyes, pretending. He carried me in his arms and moved from the living room to my bedroom. I share my bed with my brother.

Oh boy, I still can feel it, like it was yesterday.

Anyway, When I was in highschool and collage, I had a good grade in english, enough for me to graduate. I took a chance to take the TOEFL test but the score was not quite satisfying. So deal with it if my english was so-so. I hope you got my point, that's what matters.

One last thing, before I end this.
Why not write in Bahasa Indonesia then? my mother tongue.

The thing is, I think I have this "English Thought- Persona" so to say. You know, like you are someone else when you speak different languages. I do it most of the time. It helps me write, fluently, widen my perspective and word by word flow smoothly.

I'm overthinking, that's what an introvert does, right? So If I activate this persona, I can shorten my thoughts and speed up my writing tempo. I took this quirk to my advantage.

Alright.
I'm feeling good already. Endorphin start kick in? or Dopamine, which one is it?
I have no idea.

That's all for now, Steemians.
Thank you for choosing this post and spending your valuable time reading this. I appreciate it.
I doubt it'll help you but it does to me.

Have a good sleep and goodnight.
Bye.