The Unknown

The standing fan whirled humid air in the single room that sheltered them. In the silence of the night, stridulations from crickets and screeching sounds from barn owls cause a stir. In his arms, she layed naked, fast asleep like a neonate. For him, sleep was far-fetched so his gaze was fixated on the ceiling, pondering over what is yet to come. The unknown, but to some extent he's aware of everything that has not been said in depth. His thoughts surged as he watched her twist and turn intermittently, admiring her great body as well.
Maybe it's time to make that vital decision and put that ring on her finger as soon as possible before she eludes him. Even though she assures him every single day that she's found a home in his heart and there's no way she will leave him for another, there's one thing he fears most. Not living up to her expectations. She believes in him so much that, it scares him at times and tonight is one of those nights..
"What if he was never the man she saw in him?"
"What if he changes with time leaving her in ruins?" He thought about it all.
A man must take responsibility and provide for his woman and children. Though he's yet to have one, these scenarios played in his head. Like every phase of our lives where change and growth is inevitable, the thought of being a father plays a major part in his persistent insomnia. Being a dad means an end to youth. His fear of becoming a "responsible adult" is the concern that he won't be able to see friends, eat out, or do any of the social things he now enjoys at will.
What makes it worse is the unfriendly conditions he's found himself in for a year and half now. No job and even though she took the reins to provide for the two of them since this unfortunate incident happened, he is just not comfortable especially when the discourse revolves around bringing forth a baby. He is the man of the house and the sole breadwinner, and until he finds something worthwhile doing, thoughts of raising children are at the bottom of the pecking order. Finance is a big concern; diapers, food and child care do not happen through wishful thinking. A plan is required to make all these things come into fruition. He grew up with no role model but he'll make sure that he's the ideal father figure his children will look up to.
Koo felt the nudge and heavy breathing that brushed across his chest from his girlfriend's nostrils. In his arms, a good woman worth keeping. Someone he believes wouldn't let go regardless. He has seen her worth through the little gestures and acts of kindness. She's compassionate and caring. Such traits are not common among the majority of ladies these days. One out of ten love their men genuinely without conditions attached. Unlike the generation of old who upheld marital vows and values till the end, this generation is characterised by the surge in promiscuous lifestyles and divorces. Social media freaks who prioritise trends at the expense of their companion's needs.
The traits Koo sees in the woman he's yet to call his wife is the reason he's held on even when the odds were not in his favour. His grip around her is firm but not the one that'll shatter her into pieces.
The night seeped away solemnly but in his head are jumbled thoughts. For seven days straight, he's been struggling to find some sleep and all this began when she made him aware that she's not seen her period in three months.