How Do You Settle Dispute In Your Family? by @goodybest

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I trust everyone in this wonderful community is hearty and healthy! I'm great, and it feels good to be here, I find out about this amazing community just recently, and it's my pleasure to participate in one of the contest organized in this community. But first of all permit me to appreciate the Admin and the MODs of this community for a work well done! Hey @peachyladiva thanks for initiatiating an interesting contest like this which have given us the opportunity to learn from others experiences on how they used to set matters aright.

I have a nuclear family, my family consist of my husband, my children and I. My family is guided by the principles found in bible, this is because our creator Jehovah God the originator of every family in the entire universe is the only one who knows what family can do to be happy and successful, so following the principles found in his word help my family to unite in love. My husband is the Head of my family, and I used to support every discission he made.

our adorable children

No Family is the same in the entire world, we all grew up in a different family, and different parents with differs core values brought us up, so no matter how compatible we may feel we're with our partner, our views on certain matters will definitely differ. This is because no two people are the same or alike - this infact add either variety or tension to marriage. For many it adds tension - dispute.

I grew up in a tight-knit family, we always spend time together discussing everything, we go out together spending quality time with Uncles, Aunts, Cousins and Friends etc. But my lovely hubby family didn't do as much together, so we have different views on how frequent we should visit our family members and how much time we should spend with them.

Secondly, My Husband grew up with different priorities on how money should be spend, he was extravagant when it comes to handling cash. So this difference bring about argument during our first year of marriage, and the problem wasn't fixed with just a few conversation 🥰

Thirdly, deeper concerns use to cause dispute between us, what do I mean? Some times our fiery argument is not really about something that ignite it. For example some times I had dispute with my husband because he told me "you're always late!" For me I won't be angry because he told me that I need to be punctual, but because I felt he has been treated me inconsiderately.

We used to settle what ever misunderstanding we had immediately, we don't used to allow the sun 🌞 set while we're are still angry; we do not give the Devil any opportunity. If my husband did or say something he knew I'm hurt, he used to apologize immediately, likewise me. I don't joke with that two powerful words "I'm sorry" we normally mean it when we say it and we don't delay saying it if need be.

We used to identify the underlying issues that fuel argument or that causes dispute, and then we used to try this exercise when things are calm:

• I personally used to write down the topic of recent argument. For example I will writeMy husband got upset because I spend more time when I visited my friends then with an open 👐 mind I used to discuss the following with him: sweedy was the matter really that serious? Could it have been overlooked? In some cases for peace to reign, it may suffice to agree to disagree and we used to cover over matter with love 💕.

But if we felt that the matter was trivial we apologize to each other and consider the matter settled.
But then if we felt the matter was that serious, we normally express how we felt during the argument, for example sometimes I told my husband something like I felt that you were treating me as if I were your child who had to check in with her father 😍. And my husband on the other hand will say "I felt you don't used to listen to me"🤩. Then considering each of our concern, we used to discuss what each of us could have done differently to address the problem without arguing. This are the few steps I normally take to settle disputes.

we don't hold grudges against one another rather we used to forgive one another freely, that is forgive and forget about the matter, letting go of anger. This has really help our love to flourish and our bond of Union grows stronger day by day. Thanks for reading through and I hope someone might find a piece useful.
I'm inviting my friends @gracyakan @eliany and @emmybless to join in this amazing contest

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HERE GOES MY INTRODUCTORY POST