The longing that never fades

As if it all happened yesterday, there were jokes and laughter, the warmth of love and affection from him, spoiled greetings and everything felt like it just passed. That feeling continues to unite in this soul, reluctant to leave and I don't want him to leave because there are beautiful memories that are irreplaceable.

This longing will never wither, like a fragrant rose, blooming red blending with its leaves and stems, my longing is not like foam in the ocean, coming and going, then breaking, disappearing without a trace.

My longing is always engraved so strongly in my soul, only death can separate this feeling, the feeling of love and longing after almost 10 years gone forever.

I, you and even everyone will have the same longing, a longing that cannot be carved with words, but can only be felt through the heart and united in the body.

When my first child started to talk and returned to my hometown, I was surprised when he asked? Where are grandma and grandpa? Rania (nickname) has grandparents (my in-laws) in Lhoksukon (the city I live in after getting married) but not here.

I just kept quiet, not a single word was spoken, my eyes began to fill with tears holding back the longing for my parents who had passed away, it turned out that my child also felt the same way, missing the figure of the grandfather he had known since he was in his mother's womb.

A few minutes later, I took him to the cemetery which was located a few meters from the house, my child did not know anything because he was only 21 months old. I showed him the tombstone, that's where your grandmother rests, her body has left us, grandfather has passed away, and so has your grandmother.

I tried to explain in as simple a language as possible so that my child understood it, but he kept calling "Grandpa... Grandpa... Where is grandpa? Rania wants to meet grandpa". He didn't understand anything, all he wanted was to see his grandfather and grandmother like his mother's grandfather and grandmother who were still alive.

These tears began to drip and wet my cheeks, I couldn't say anything, other than be silent looking at his innocent face, then I took him into the living room, I showed him a 3x4 cm picture of his grandfather and grandmother that was attached to a photo frame.

The longing continues to burn my soul from that time until now, I can only remember every beautiful moment with them, the joys and sorrows that never return and can be replaced by anything.

My childhood in the countryside with all financial limitations, but was able to live decently, and get an education like children my age with adequate economic backgrounds, I am happily living with 9 siblings now living in harmony by protecting each other.