For a while now, I have been mostly on my feet as we worked towards burying our dead. The community haven't that much of me and sometimes it's a needed break from everything.
Updates as if ya'll need to hear about my miserable life :D
I have experienced a myriad of emotions. From this new found positive energy to curling up in my darkest corners and getting stuck in there. The urge to better this flawed self drifts in and out depending on the mood. Is it high? Is it low?
Recent tides have been too shaky for a precise diagnosis. There has been an unexpected death in the family and I am yet to digest its gritty details. A young woman who is my first cousin was left with zero siblings as a result. She's been orphaned already. And much as I feel sorry for her, I feel worse for her young ones.
She is an unreliable mother of three small boys because she is a functional alcoholic who outright denys being one. She reminds me of my late stepfather and his obsession with a drink.
The deceased was an agemate of mine. He had no one but his drink too. Knowing all too well that depression played a major role in his sinking to the bottom of a bottle, I feel a lil bit lucky.
Lucky that I found a way of getting lost in books and music. Like I should be grateful for my closest family members being there as much as they could. Blessed that motherhood happened knowing that I have lived just because of it sometimes.
That I was patient enough to wait for the winds from the East to sweep me across the miles between it and the West. To be able to have a glimpse of what happiness feels like.
I remain grateful.
How have you been yourself? Any poetry challenges going on currently? I'd love to consume some virtually. Direct me there :)
UNRELATED!
I earned myself some down votes on a recent post and I didn't get to know what they were about. Do people randomly downvote posts or is there something wrong with this piece?
I am asking because I myself take down voting someone quite seriously and I would to rectify whatever earned me the down votes in the first place. Please note that they came from people who neither follow or read my works (I'd have seen comments or something).
Don't worry about downvotes. There are people on here that just downvote as a hobby. Many don't even have any SP in their accounts. They just like for people to feel bad.
I am sorry that so much death and kids left to their own devices is going on in your life!
It sounds like you might not have been on for a bit. You know about hive and the split and all?
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It doesn't make sense to me. But I get where you are coming from. I just don't get why anyone would want such as a hobby!
Thank you so.
Yes I know of the hive. I post there too. I am just a bit mixed up but I'll recharge soonest. Thank you for your kind words and concern. I appreciate :)
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I relate to you in the sense that writing helps relieving all sorts of ups and downs. Dont mind down votes, everyone has its own views and journeys and the important part is what writing does to yourself for yourself and why it helps you.
:) hugs
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I just felt a reboot charge through my mind. Thank you so. Sometimes a reminder serves as the best medicine :)
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We all need reminders sometimes. It is not always sufficient to know the theory, we often need that because we start doubting whether it is like that or are we tricking ourselves into believing so.
And I think in my case, most of the times it is like that, but then I think "it works, so who cares and if ig works for me and makes me feel better and it doesnt harm anybody else, then it´s a great way".
This sea of life we live in, where we often encounter very high waves or very low tides is un predictable in most parts of it, so you have to lead your boat how it best works for you :) only you know your boat better than anybody else, so whatever you decide, you will certainly have the best reasons.
Keep up the good writing. Keep up being you. Dont worry about what people think, they are not in your shoes, they dont live your life, nor have lived your experiences. So if they have good things to give, excellent, but if they are trolls, ignore them! Just take advices with care (even mine!) and make the best out of what you have.
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