Traditional Marriage in My Village.

in hive-167622 •  2 years ago  (edited)

Introduction

In my community Ezere, traditional marriage of our children is an event parents look forward to in their life time. As a matter of fact every grown up is expected to marry and be married and so it has been in my community. Parents are usually unhappy if their grown ups are not married. I believe that no parent would wish someone else to hand their daughter over to the family of the groom. Witnessing the marriage of our children gives parents joy and a sense of fulfilment. It is also a testimony of the type of family that is involved. For noone wishes to marry from a bad home. Today I am writing about the traditional marriage I attended in my community on Tuesday 30th September,2022. Before I start let me first of all say a few things about marriage in my place.

There are 2 types of marriage in my community namely traditional marriage and the statutory marriage. Anyone wishing to marry choose from any of these 2. Also there are 3 stages involved and these are;

  1. Doing the marriage rites,
  2. celebrating the marriage traditionally and
  3. Finally doing the white wedding.

As we all know marriage is a thing of joy. It has it's foundation in the Bible. The Bible tells us that whoever finds a wife finds a good thing . On the 30th of September, I attended the traditional marriage of one of our relations called Chioma. She is the 2nd daughter of the family of Chinedu Emenike.

The traditional marriage started with her husband people providingg the items listed for them one by one. Anyone that is on the list but not provided is paid for in cash. Our inlaw's father came with wads of money and he paid for the items as they were called. It is this procedure that we refer to as marriage rites.
Customarily the rites precedes the traditional wedding ceremony called "Igba Nkwu."While performance of the rites is the substance of a marriage contracted in accordance with native law and custom of my people, the traditional wedding aspect of the marriage is ceremonial. It is for fun and merriment but anyone who wishes to adopt statutory marriage follows the provisions of the Marriage Act. How is traditional marriage done in Ezere?

Performance of Traditional Marriage Rites

In my village, performance of traditional marriage rites is the most important stage in the process of getting married. This is actually what constitutes the marriage. Without it the parties are merely cohabiting; they would not be recognized as husband and wife. This requirement signifies the consent of the parties and their families that they will be united in marriage. It involves providing all the items required for performing the rites. These items are contained in a list that our inlaw collected the very first time he came to Chioma's family to tell them of his intentions towards her. They brought palm wine, cartons of the specified brand of beer, hot drinks, wine,bottles of snuff for the elders, cigarettes for the youths and money for supporting each set of the family that must be settled. It was a bit expensive, you might say , but it was worth it . They settled all the following:

  1. Introduction of their purpose of coming.
  2. Presentation of gifts to her father.
  3. Presentation of gifts to Chioma's kindred.
  4. Presentation of items for negotiation of the bride price,
  5. Presentation of items for paying of the bride price.
    In the olden days, it takes five separate visits to accomplish them but in the present time it can be done in one visit. Chioma's husband's people did it in one visit. Let me say a little about the marriage list before I continue.

Marriage List

Chioma's marriage began with collection of the marriage list. The list was collected with a token of about #1000.00(10Steem). The list contains the stages of the visit and the items that they must bring for the marriage. It enabled her husband'd people to get well prepared for the event. See the picture of the traditional marriage.

IMG_20220830_152629.jpg

Go-between

.It is also important to say a few things about go-between or middle man. He is the person who assists the in-laws in bringing out the items listed. He witnesses the ceremony and usually mediates between the parties in the event of any dispute.
After the collection of the marriage list her family appointed one chief Sunday Ifokwe their go-between. He is suitable for the role because he knows about the tradition and custom of Ezere . He came with his copy of the list for use in calling out the items required and settling the cost of each . He started from the first item on the list which was called Introduction ended with the last which was paying of bride price. This involved presenting the initial set of drinks. It was at this stage that Chioma was asked whether she accepted the young man seeking to marry her and whether the family should accept and eat what is being presented. She said yes Take a look at the go-between calling out the items on the list.

IMG_20220830_153744.jpg

Commencement

As said above the marriage started with introduction of the In-laws. When they finished it became our turn to do same. Take a look at the picture of our in-laws introducing themselves

IMG_20220830_153539.jpg

The father of our in-law was introduced sitting down because he is the traditional ruler of his Community. His Community is called Ozara.

IMG_20220830_152311.jpg

Also take a look at the picture of our in-law introducing himself. His name is Kinsley Maduagwu.

IMG_20220830_153725.jpg

See also the picture of our daughter signifying her consent to marry Kingsley. The boy standing before her is one of her brothers.

IMG_20220830_155726.jpg

Entertainment

We had so much to eat and drink after the marriage was contracted. Everyone was happy that it ended in praises.

Conclusion

Our in-laws departed happily to their places with their new wife. It is good to get married for the Bible says that anyone who finds a wife finds a good thing

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Wow, marriage is a good thing oooo
Over here, the above you described is known as palour marriage since it's not made public

I don't think you get this. This may be the introduction you know. Because I know this is how it's done in my place. Introduction is done before the marriage proper. Unless they have their reason...we are not in their pockets you know.

I got you but it is the way we do it in my place. What you people call Introduction in your place is strictly private in mine. In my place is the groom's first visit to know the girls nuclear family after which they each inquiries about each other. In my place once you do the above you are legitimately married. You may or may not do Igba nkwu

That's great. People's difference

That's true, due to financial difficulty they might decide not to do beyond their reach

👌

Yes,it is the inner marriage,it is only performed by the members of the family and some well wisher.

Even though we are Igbos our customs differ slightly.

Its better sha, but I love it when its publicized

This aspect took place in their parlour. It's not the ceremony yet . Igba nkwu will be outside. It will involve a lot of dancing and merriment.

Ohhhhhhh, I understand
You said it's called Igba nkwu?? Let me meet @luchyl for interpretation

Ado idor awan abi nso, mbok yak mi

Orr mma..... Kuyat esit oooo,mmedaka do🚶🏼‍♀️🚶🏼‍♀️

Hmn wetin that one mean?

Literally means "marriage"

Ok. Thank you. You will teach me that dialect.

@luchyl can interpret Igba nkwu for you.

These ladies don go far o. Naa Igbo una bi?

We are crossbreed Igbo +Ibibio.
Actually, that was Ibibio language.

Hahaha......na linguistics I wan study for higher institution

You have it already. Just go there and tell them to give you certificate

Is it your mama or papa that are Igbos?

African mulattos. I envy you.

Traditional marriage is the native way of Nigeria marriage. To us, it's the most important aspect of our marriage...other ones are just to complete the journey. You have tried by telling us all about how traditional marriages are done in your home town. Well done.

He really took a good time to share this with us and I really love this post,it has given me the knowledge of how marriage is been done in his hometown.

😍

@queensleey thank you

Yes but some how there are similarities

Thank you for your kind words .

The things are being done in your town is also the way they are been done in mine,there are lots of drinks to be enjoyed by everyone.

And people had a lot to eat and drink on that day. Many villagers joined us later it was grand

Reading this reminds me of nine years ago when my traditional marriage right was performed, it is usually a joyful mode especially for the bride I know it was indeed a joyful moment for your family

It was indeed. A moment parents look forward to.

Yes every good parents desires that day for their children

Correct

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Thank you for recognizing the post.

Wow while reading through it was as if I was present in the occasion. You've made a well detailed information about the event.

The Bible tells us that whoever finds a wife finds a good thing .

About these, it's very important in a Man's life. I pray for God to help me to choose rightly when it's my time.

Traditions in Igbo land is almost the same. I wish them a happy marriage. Kingsley look handsome and humble.

** Please take note, in Writing pictures description, you write it under the pictures so that it will not confuse your reader**

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Some of your paragraphs are too long.

Noted ma.

Thanks to God for the successful marriage ceremony, when one is officially married, she protect her dignity and that of the family she came from. But when one enter marriage through back yard door, hmm, what a shame to both herself and family she came from?

Entering through the back door is called ex parte in our parlance. You married on credit. Please avoid it.

I have witnessed alot of marriage in Igbo land.Is a thing of joy to the family that is giving out thier daughter in marriage. Are you one of the elders. Oya bring some hot drinks for me.

Indeed marriage is an olden traditional act ,which we now replicated . And practise on our own individual traditional concepts . For the list collection , do you sure it can be possible with only 1000 naira or 10steem ?

Because it seems is more cost intensive to marry within Igbo land.

Nonetheless the people did have quite enjoyable day .

Ehhhr, the cost depends on how your family charge. In my community our girls are not articles of trade. It's why we collect 1k. It's just a token.

See , no joke get some people who for like need know your community .

Let me just landed sorry , hope the main bride price wouldn't get to reached half a million. Or total traditional marriage cost wouldn't reached a million or half a million naira?

In our village the list is collected with 5000 naira which is equivalent to 50 steems, traditional marriage is so sweet and everyone in the family enjoys it, i love the part of introducing the inlaws and them explaining the reason why they came, thank you for this writing.

Thank you for your kind comment.