Introduction
We took a really long break after the 4th week of Open Happiness. We had big projects on hand, especially setting up the Steemit training center in Aba, Abia State Nigeria. Now we are back and wont skip a week of the Open Happiness project again. We are glad to welcomee you to this edition. Pls click here to learn more about Open Happiness.
Open Talk
For the Open Talk this night, we will discuss a subject that has drawn a battle line between parents and children of marriageable age. We will look at possibly the right approach to solving this really divisive issue at home.
For the open talk to start, the sponsor will make the first comment on this post and raise the topic for discussion. Then members of the community can join the discussion and free express their opinions on the subject matter for 30 minutes.
As a participant, what do you need to do?
- Wait for the Host to start the discussion.
- Respond to as many persons as you can.
- Always refresh your page to see new comments
- Be creative, relate personal experiences, ask questions, avoid short comments.
- Make it fun too
@focusnow would be the hosts tonight. He has donated 30 Steem for the Open talk tonight.
Conclusion
Open Happiness is loved by our community members. After all, who of us does not enjoy recieving gifts. You can actually support this project by participating in the discussions. More important, help us realize the goal of Open Happiness by being generous. You do not have to be rich to be give. A little airtime, cash, Steem or Sbd, or other gifts will go a long way to make someone smile.
We thank the Steemit team for always supporting our projects. To you our valued member, we thank you for supporting SteemAlive community. Together, we can rewrite history. Together we can touch lives through selfless giving. Let us Open Happiness!!! Together we can!!!!
Written by: @focusnow
For: @steemalive
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Well.. I don't think there is anything bad in inter tribals marriage. But if I ever find a girl that I love and our tribe is different then am very sure my parents will support me.
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@mato445. What if they gave you a surprise of your life - they said no. What will you do?
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Goodevening and Welcome to Open Happiness for this week.
Here is our topic for the Open Talk:
You found your dream wife or husband. But your parents would not allow the marriage to work because he or she is from a different tribe. What will you do?
Also, how do you view inter tribal marriages?
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To me, there's nothing wrong with inter tribal marriage, where ever I find my love is good hence the man is godly man And he loves me and the family is a godly family too.
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Welcome @chizikky187. Thank you for your view. Now the main challenge is that your parents said no because they dont want his tribe. What will you do?
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If they said no because they aspire he's not a good man, I'll reason with them.
But if their refusal is based on prejudice I will not conceit to their wish.
I'm the one getting married not them.
I'll simply let them know that the mentality is outdated
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U are very correct dear. Most of us are scared of falling in love because my mother has already told me that if i am bringing a lady who is not from my tribe to her house i should prepare to face her.
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Waooh. this is really scary. So what will you do if you fall in love with someone from the other side?
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My dear you are man enough to handle this,never plan of getting married and stay in the same house with either parents,its a major source of some failed marriages. Yes they are our parents but they cant live their life and also live ours
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I truly support you dear,in this 21st century anywhere i found my love i will follow him asap
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Exactly my sister @ladyofpolicy.
I'm getting married not them.
Men will bring their wives to their parents house.
Nnedi will start attacking
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Yes @chizikky187
You are right
What matters is love.
As long as there is love there.
It will go well.
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Yeah... The godliness of the partner is all that matters.
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I will try and make them understand that we all one.
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Thanks for participating, 😃 Give your reasons elaborately. @soma77
Me I'll reason with the as one if the man is good and the family is good.
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What if they fail to see reasons with you. What if they threaten to - for example - disown you if you go ahead?
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I have to think on a way forward to make them understand because without understanding what ever am doing is westing of time.
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Lol @focusnow
I think i will go ahead😀😀😀
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These is a situation most of us have been eye weekness to. My senior brother brought a lady from the north after his youth service and he told my mother that these is the lady he wants to spend rhe rest of his life with my mother refused ooo that he must marry an igbo girl. Till this time he left the house and refuse calling or picking anyone call from the house. My advice is that once someone finds love allow him or her to go ahead. We are all made in the image and likeness of God.
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@simonnwigwe. Thank you for the response and that experience. Waooh . Ok since then, your brother stopped talking to the family? And the relationship with the girl also ended? were you able to find out what later happened?
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He eloped with the love of his life ooooo he said no body can stop him.
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Hi uncle @focusnow, the relationship may not end but the relationship is shifted out if home 🤣🤣🤣... Not the mum's business again
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Exactly my brother @simonnwiwe... Sometimes parents can't understand the facets of love between a man and a woman.
The truth is that the mentality is outdated.
Even the bible reject prejudice.
Your brother will still marry the love of his life. 😃😃
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You are very much correct dear. We are all humans made in the image and likeness of God. I think if we start seeing each other these way, the world would be a better place
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Yes. If I may ask: If you have the chance to marry from a different tribe, where will it be and why
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These one strong oooo, ernestly na were love carry me go na dat place i go go oooo
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Haaa... This is not good at all. Parents should know they wont marry our spouses for us. Your parents took it far ooo.
When was this sef?
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Good evening sir @focusnow and to every member of @steemalive,hope we all had a great time today.
Talking about inter tribal marriage,from my own personal point of view,there is nothing wrong with it because for me i think it create inter tribal relationship,brings peace to the two tribe and also help in conflict resolution.
Ina situation whereby my parents(let me personalize the case) object my marriage to my intended spouse because of his tribe,the only solution I can offer is to call them as talk to them,make them see that there is nothing wrong with it but if they insist nt to support me,i will go ahead with my marriage,in due time they will come around,but its very hard especially in Igbo land to convince our parents especially those that are not educated,but nevertheless,persistence can make them come around,thanks
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@ladyofpolicy. You really made a great point when you said its nothing wrong. How about they threaten to disown you. Will you still go ahead?
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From experiences sir @focusnow,I just found out that those threat doesn't last,they say it to threaten you not to go ahead with the marriage,trust me if you persist and follow your heart,after a while they will come visiting. For me yes i will go ahead with the marriage
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To me, what matter a lot is love.
My parents cant choose who to marry for me.
Its absolutely wrong.
What if i dont love the person?
Well
What i will do is that
I will fight for it
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You really have a strong opinion and that is fine. So if they choose to disown you for that, you wouldnt mind?
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@focusnow
I will move on and marry whom i want to marry
No be them i go marry.
But i know one day they will still accept it
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Another is that parents they think that their son will no longer take care of them that is their fear.
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A son that won't take care if his parents won't do that even if he married in his village.
It's good to marry a good person tho tribe doesn't mean anything @soma77
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I feel there is a reason God put us in same country. In the normal sense of it, we are too many in tribes but God is greater than all.
If I find myself in such a situation, I will encourage my wife to be in her best of behaviour while we join hands and seek the intervention of God.
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Good evening sir, that a nice topic for today
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Welcome @val123. So what is your view or opinion?
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This is really quite a topic..
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Good evening house if I find a wife and my parents don't wanna allow it to work I guess it won't be a problem to me because I have made my choice and it's no bodies business, but for me as a person there are some tribes that I can't marry from if the girl likes she should be beautiful like #mami-water it won't walk I don't just want to call Names.
Marriage is marriage. But personal view to a place to marry differs.
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@kingcent. Yes dont call names. So lets say you got her from a tribe you still like although not your own tribe, and your parents threatened to disown you. Will you still go ahead?
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Hard question
No I won't go on, I will listen to my parents and choose another girl.....
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Hahahaha. You will play safe. I think people have been put in a situation where they can only choose love or family. Have you witnessed such a thing? @kingcent
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Yes I have a guy impregnated a girl who is 2 times older than him the parents of the guy threaten to disown the guy if he proceeds with the marriage.
In the end the guy went on and married the girl. It was really terrific. The case even went to court.
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Waooh. this is really a tough case to handle. Just because the girl was of a different tribe?
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Then @kingcent,you're not really in love or let's say you don't know the power of love.
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Not at the essence of risking been disowned by my biological parents
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When are you gonna be a man @kingcent
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But what happens if you never knew this girl you love is actually from one the tribe you actually detest and after months of being in love, she now discloses everything about her to you?
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Before I date a girl I will ask some relevant questions, e g where you are from, how old are you, and other things .....
Then I will study her character to check if it matches my behavior before we get along
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And what if she doesn't give accurate information about herself
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If I find out later I might we may not continue I hate liers. Remember a lier is a thief.
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Lols...
Oh really...
You are right because she actually lied to steal your heart
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This is really tough one. Yes maybe she knew that your parents wont like it, so she decided to hide it. What will you advice a friend in such a situation?
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I will just tell my friend to follow his heart
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@kingcent why won't you marry from that tribe pls your reason thank you.
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For me marry from any tribe does not matter at all, as long that her character is to me and I love her it doesn't matter for me.
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Exaltly boss but marrying outside your tribe extends helping hands meaning you will know new people and new connection's too
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Yes that's true
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To me, i believe love conquers all things.
If my parents wants to stop me from living to my dreams, i will simply act to the defiance of their wish. I will keep holding to my dream woman no matter what.
I have seen similar case happen here in my town. The young man held on to his dream woman till his parents finally got tired of stopping him.
Inter tribal marriage to me is good as long there is love in it. Like i said earlier love conquers all odds
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Yeah, my parent will surely support me since that will make me happy.
Personally I don't think there is a big deal I that stuff
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No big deal at all
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Waooh. this is really a strong opinion. I love how you expressed your views. So if your parents say you wont be their son again if you go ahead, will you go ahead?
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I simply will go right ahead and chose my happiness
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You really have a big understanding of this situation. Indeed, I think I will not allow someone to detect my future happiness too.
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Surely..
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Love is a beautiful thing indeed dear,when you're truly inlove anything parents aee saying doesn't even count
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Truely
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Waooh. this is really a strong opinion. I love how you expressed your views. So if your parents say you wont be their son again if you go ahead, will you go ahead?
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Amazing topic. My parents doesnt really support inter tribe marriage because of the language barrier. So they expect that as an igbo girl, i should marry an igbo man because of our children.
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Fine language barrier is difficult to deal with but not when you're in love with who truly loves you
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I agree. I believe language barrier can be overcome if that is the only reason. But what if the parents disagreed
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@chizikky that's true, if you meet someone that you truly love it hard to leave her.
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@kinkyamiee. Thank you for your response. So lets say you have fallen in love with this guy and over time, you are really convinced that he is the right person. Let say you can overcome the language barrier too. What will you do in a such a situation?
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Seriously, i always think about my family when i meet a man, so if you cant relate or accepted by my parents, its a no no!! I cant continue, do you think its right?
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@kinkyamiee. Waooh. Lets push it to the wall. Lets say all the men that are coming to you are really nice people, but they coincidentally come from a different tribe and you love them. Do you think your parents can be made to shift ground?
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Mehnnn...lol, my dad especially will not shift ground ooo.
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@kinkyamiee. Your dad is really a tough man. But I use to think that dads are easier to understand and accept love in that respect than mums, especially when their expectations are not being reached
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Lol...yea, but now mums are kinda easier now oo..
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Hehehehe..
Your parents have actually achieved their own dreams o, now it is time for u to achieve yours, they don't want to accept it for you.
Think am na
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Yes it may be right it your parents have good reasons @kinkyamiee.
They're wiser than us and guide us. If they discern a wrong attitude in a man, I reason with them but if their reason is not valid or is discriminating... I go on with my love partner.
There's nothing wrong with intertribal, hence you love the man and he loves you and he is godly.
After all, parents are not suppose to force their decision on their adult children.
They only guide them
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I agree with you dear, but they know best.
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Igbo people just like doing this... And if there wife doesn't give birth to a male child they will be forced to drive the woman away. Too bad
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Not all igbos though, just from some parts. But they need a son that will take that family name on.
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They need a son fyn but they always like putting all the blame on the woman!!!
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Lols...
Must it be igbo niii
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Too bad my brother. @kingcent
What a bad tradition Igbo have. But not all Igbo men have that mentality.
That's why I said it's not about the tribe, it's about the man you're marrying.
If he is godly, reasons fine and love me I'll go in.
After all my tribe is not the best tribe.
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@chizikky187. I really liked hoe you put it when you said your tribe is not the best. Assuming everyone thinks like that, people will be more united.
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I agree with you both 70% of Igbo men do that.
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Inter tribal marrriage Is really a big issue...in one way or the other we would have come across one before ....I have and I haven't seen a doubt about why it shouldn't be allowed....
Tho nobody want to go against his or her parents but when it comes to things of the heart or emotion that can't be controlled by power or energy....
If I were in that shoe, I will sit my parents down since I have been a good son to them ..I would jez say dad mom give me your listening hear this once ......are you feeling me
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Olabillion where will you like to marry???
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Smiles
Rn
Am still eyeing pricelesspresh💅
I jez know she's igbo ...I don't know where she's from
Can you help me out
Hahahaah
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Hahahahahah na igbo girl oooo
Me too they eye her abeg I they hear Igbo language oooo free her for me.
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King cent na first tok am ooo👂👂
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Free the Barney abeg. Remember you don't understand Igbo language
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I go learn....na linguistics I do for secondary School
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Hahahahahahahah
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Who unna dey eye abi make I also bring my eyes . 😋😁😁😁😂
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No, no near oooo remember you they wear eye glass
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Really @kingcent. So you can understand a little of igbo? Thats impressive
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I do I'm from Ikweree so the language is similar
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@olabillions be careful ooo.
Dont come and spoil show for me with your billions o
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I actually can marry from any tribe, but personally
I prefer hausa ladies...
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I love this question. If you were to marry from another tribe, where will it be and why?
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I like Igbo tribe, I love those guys they have the skill to doing business and I understand Igbo language too
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You have said it all my dear,its not all about the tribe its about the peace of mind and self discovery,who tribe help?
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Abi oo .who e epp
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For me val I have not witness it but if I see a girl that I love and her character is good and me I can stay with her happly, sir no matter the tribe that she is coming from I will marry her and my parent can not stop me although I will feel bad but the can't stop me from marry the girl that I want to marry.
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What is they say that they will disown you?
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If the say that I will try my best to convince them but if the made up there mind for that, no problem let the do it, as long as that i love that woman.
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I will marry her
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Sir let the do that but as long as is the person that I love and I want to marry the can not stop me.
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My friend once told me that their mom told him and his sister not to marry anybody who is a Catholic, and I was like what has Catholic Church done to the mother?
Seriously our parents need to stop forcing all these falsed beliefs on us the children, yes sometimes it might be from experience but are all Catholic bad? Or are all Muslim bad?
Recently my sister told me not to marry and Igbo girl and I was like, look at this one too o. If I even see an hausa girl that I love I will marry talk more of close by Igbo.
And this is also something we have to learn also because one day we also we will be parents and we need to put ourselves in our children shoes.
Thanks
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I love this.. that is what some parents don't know one day their children will also become a parent
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Ochang you dey copy me ...you dey do plagiarism for reply too...
Y will you like to marry a hausa lady
Smiles...let's get married them
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@olabillions Lol
But pricelesspresh na Igbo girl na
No be Hausa.
I will like an hausa girl because of my love for kuli kuli
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Kilo watin @ochang go kee me ooo
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I really love your opinions. There is only one race, thats the human race, isnt it?
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Yes boss @focusnow
I don't know where all these segregation is coming from.
Imagine in the same Nigeria we are having fractions in religion, tribe, ethnicity etc
Imagine if we were white then the racism would be worst than what we are having now
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Yes that's true.
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The point there is that, when you're married your parents won't be there to live with you both, so why discriminate, will go for who my heart longs for.. Simple
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Lol this is true but they know that they wouldn't be there to live with, but they think they are protecting you, or having your best interest at heart
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We all know that all parents wants the best for their children, even in marriage, but it shouldn't get to that point where they choose your life partner for you, no matter the tribe
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And if they said, you are no longer our daughter from today going forward. Will you go ahead?
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Once God is involved I am not scared of being disowned, because there is a reason why God brought the man to my part and that is to fulfill destiny, As for my parents God will always fix us back
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A big question..
Well am a big fan of inter tribal marriage.. infact my dream girl is from Hausa tribe teh northern tribe.
I do tell my parents that am marrying from that side and there is nothing they can do to stop me
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Y all of una dey like hause like this...
Shay because of wara
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Na wa o
@olabillions everybody won marry Hausa girl o
Abeg carry out survey any Hausa girl for steemalive?
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Make we ask our boos
@focusnow
Any hausa girl in the house ready for marriage asap
..since most of steemalive guys prefer hausa babes
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Hahahaha. this is really fine. So if they want to disown you, they can go ahead?
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Yes sir let the disown me no problem as long as am with the woman that I want
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Yes.. since they are not happy with my own happiness
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One thing that baffles me about inter marriage is that even Christians preach against it. Why is it so?
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