Put yourself in my shoes.

We are created differently in every aspect. That's why we all have our challenges and difficulties, although there are times some aspects seem familiar. But definitely, our shoes differ in sizes, colours and quality.

There's a usual saying that "he who wears it, feels it." That's to say that, you wear your shoes and I wear mine. We both understand where our shoes pinch. At this point, do you still need to be in my shoes? Especially if you don't know where it may pinch?

This expression is to let you know the reason why people refuse to put themselves in other people's shoes, because the shoes may be filled with uncertainties.

link

Being judged is a difficult situation. I usually feel so sad, injured and demeaned that I'm being judged, especially when my side of the story is not heard or when no one cares to ask, and they just draw a conclusion. I am usually hurt and frustrated sometimes.

I remember a certain time I withdrew from a relationship years ago. People said all manner of things, no one knew the reasons why I took the decision. People felt I used and dumped the guy, or I was being heartless because, to them, he was humble from the inside. No one knew I was going through threats, physical and verbal abuse.

When I took the decision and I was being judged. It was devastating, but I had made up my mind, I was never going to look back, no matter the judgment from distance and close friends and family members.

link

I used to get bothered in the time past that I would be rejected and hated by people, which is absolutely true. Now, I just let it be, if wrongly judged, one day, the truth will unveil itself.

I don't respond to criticism. That's because no matter how much you try to defend yourself by explanation, there are people who will never believe in your side of the story.

There's a usual saying in Nigeria "you go explain tire." Meaning, you'll get tired of explaining, you won't ever win. I'll add that you can't win an argument with a madman.

What I do is allow my character to speak. It's you who is judging me that will get tired. When you see that I don't feel bad or enter one corner to cry, it's you who will feel bad for judging me.

Ah! Many times, oh. In all of them, I have always come out strong by the help of God almighty.

Applause and words of courage to myself

Dear Evelyn Harris,
You're a strong, fierce and determined lady.
Despite your travails, you are so strong
courageous and strong-willed
You have been broken many times
yet, you're not shattered
Keep being you

Just know that you're loving
and beautiful both in and out
I'm sending you lots of love, kisses
and hugs and a rose🌹
just to let you know you're cherished.💕

Like I mentioned above, people's shoes are full of uncertainties because "he who wears them knows where it pinches." If I decide to give my shoes to anyone, they may not size the person, he/she may not understand how I stylishly walk in the shoes in order for people not to understand where it pinches and how it may be shaking on the heels.

But if you insist, I'll say that I can give my shoes to @okere-blessing for a day if only she will accept to wear the shoes due to some uncertainties.

The aspect I will give her is that of being a teacher and also a mother running around, with a private school job and having to be a mother and then a wife.

I believe @okere-blessing will understand and manage this aspect better because she has been in these shoes before, she would have a better way of handling this aspect better without any pitfalls.

The problem is, would she even like to try the shoes? I'd better wear my shoes. Oh!

It's not helpful at all.

1. People do that due to lack of understanding. We are talking about putting oneself in another person's shoes. They lack the understanding of the challenges the person is going through.

2. The next one is the fact that people lack empathy and compassion for others. Due to that, they can do or say whatever they like to others without verifying because they don't care about others.

3. I still feel that people who talk anyhow to people and about people suffer from low self-esteem. Since they can't confront or amicably ask people involved, they decide to talk about them and also judge them sometimes wrongly and intentionally.

Be quick to hear but be wise not to judge others quickly especially if you haven't heard their story.

Lemme invite @chilaw, @realitytrend and @yuceetoria