Your introspective journey into perfection and its complexities is Relatable. The pursuit of happiness as your driving force is universal quest. The fear of disappointing others especially the firstborn echoes deep sense of responsibility. Your entrepreneurial mindset and strong will are indeed commendable strengths. procrastination while a common struggle is a hurdle you recognize & aim to overcome. Acknowledging this flaw is the first step toward improvement. your commitment to defeating procrastination is a positive stride towards becoming better version of yourself. Wishing you success on your journey of self- discovery and growth!