Tell your story #6 ( My education and marriage )

Hello everyone,

Today I want to tell all of you about my life when i was doing law post graduation (LLM). At that time, it was very difficult for girls to study law but I insisted and took admission in college👩‍🎓

Being short in height, everyone would say to me that how will you talk after becoming a lawyer, your height is so short, so at that time I decided in my mind that now I will do LLM, and then thought in my mind that now I will not become a lawyer but a judge and will sit on a chair so high that everyone can see me comfortably and finally i took admission in LLM after my graduation was completed, although my height was not that short but still I gained confidence after doing LLM and I completed my studies with full hard work and dedication.😎

To become a judge, it is very important for a judge to know Urdu and English. So I learnt Urdu and I learnt it with full dedication. Then I gave an exam for PCSJ in India. But at that time everything was so difficult that I could not pass the exam. Still I did not lose courage and started working with dedication. 😄

Finally the day came when I got a letter from Lucknow that your exam will be held on 21, 22, 23 and 24, for 4 days and you will have to come to Lucknow🌹 for it. I was very happy. It was the 14th of 1993 when I got that letter. I don't know what God had in store. On the 16th itself, a proposal for marriage came for me.💐 I refused a lot but my brother did not agree and my mother said that you should see the boy once. It is not necessary that the marriage should take place.

I agreed and in the morning, there was a program to visit the Aughad Nath temple. As soon as I reached the temple premises,🛕 small girls were selling garlands and prasad. I took garlands and prasad from those girls and I went to the temple gate. As soon as I reached the door, I put that garland around lord shiva neck and it fell straight on his neck. I don't know then why did this doubt arise in my mind that my marriage will definitely be fixed here and then the program of seeing started.🕺💃

Everything went well, he liked me and the marriage was ready to be fixed when I told my mother that mother, wait now, my exams are after two-four days but due to my father's absence,( he passed away when i was 4 years old ) there was a lot of pressure from my brother and my maternal uncle etc. and my younger sister was also there, so these people made the marriage final by wearing the ring and I came home and cried a lot, I tried a lot to convince them but everyone started saying that you should talk to the boy once, who knows he might agree but it was such a time for some time that I could not talk.

At an age when every girl dreams of getting a husband who takes care of her and no one else, I had this wish at that age and I always used to tell my mother that mummy, look for such a home for me where I get everyone, mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, elder brother-in-law, sister-in-law and maybe God listened to me and I got such a family where I get everyone and my bonding with everyone was also very good, my sister-in-law, brother-in-law were very nice, my mother-in-law was very nice, everyone was very nice

But I could not tell my heart to anyone and neither my dream ever be fulfilled, I considered my family mine with all my body, mind and money and raised my younger brothers-in-law with a lot of love, educated and brought up and I was just immersed in them, I considered my responsibilities as mine and shouldered them and fulfilled all the responsibilities very well. Meanwhile, I had two sons and I started raising them and I raised them with a lot of love and care, took care of their every need. My husband was also of a very good nature and he supported me at every step. I and he, both of us reached that stage of life where all relationships remained just in name, everything I did became like a dream. Those for whom I had put my future at stake, they ruined all my efforts.

Today I am at that stage of my life where I can neither look back nor think about achieving something by moving forward because now it is the time of children, now I want to see my dreams in them only.

Perhaps somewhere inside me, that judge is still there who tells me to stick to my decisions and I want that I take some decisions in which my son supports me and then my husband also agrees, but I am not able to understand what I lost and what I gained in life, this question remains the same for me even today as it was in the beginning.

Thankyou
@priya2205