An on Topic "Shitpost".

in hive-168689 •  5 years ago  (edited)

There are probably hundreds, if not thousands of literal shitposts being written about Coronavirus as I'm writing this. But I may as well throw my shit into the ring. Damn that sounds nasty!

With all the current panic and hysteria going on around the world due to the Coronavirus outbreak, it all gets a bit depressing going through the social media and/or news feeds right now. I needed to get away from it all, so I thought I would go for a walk to get some fresh air, while hoping I don't catch the damn thing. I did need some supplies as well, so that was a good reason in itself...

I have seen all the news about the shortages of toilet paper, so I decided I would investigate the situation in person. It seems it's all true. There really is a shit fight over toilet paper right now :P
         


         

That was a little too wild and noisy for me, so I decided to try another store. With all the current shortages, It seems as though businesses have had to resort to some interesting rationing ideas. Lucky for me, I had plenty of spare change and I decided to try my luck on the new toilet roll slot machines being installed around town.
         

toilet roll slots.jpg
         

Unfortunately for me, lady luck wasn't on my side, and I flushed all my spare change into the machine without getting a single roll. All of a sudden, I actually needed to take a crap, so I headed towards the nearest toilet I could find within the shopping complex.

Damn! I walked into the cubicle, only to see that the rationing process had been extended to all parts of the complex. Looks like shit is really bad right now. Take a look at how dire the situation is.

         

tally ho toilet roll.jpeg

         

After I saw the tally ho papers hanging there, I got kind of nervous and edgy about the whole situation. So I thought, Fuck it! I may as well take up smoking again...Beats the shit out of wiping your ass with them!



         
         

As always, have a great day and PEACE

         
         

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Lucky that we don't need toilet paper here 😁😁 it's time to care about environment ... use water instead of paper because paper made from woods. Grow tree and purify the sea water. Why people keep messing up with business?

It's times like this when you see that alternative's exist that actually make sense.

and @palikari123 die hard paper users may eventually try the paper they find in the woodworking section of the hardware store.

it's even available in hundreds of grid options

lol

😂😂😂😂😂😂 I can't imagine that!

the all new Koch Brothers crack buffing appliance.

patent pending.

or polish your favourite whale manually

to order, call now!

555-kochbros.

your whale will shimmer when he is mooning.

OK, but what if you have diarrhea. It would just get really messy using more water instead of paper😷

Nope... we just need to make sure that our bath tub full of water😀😊 when you get diarhhea, all you have to do is occupy the toilet just for yourself 😁

It’s getting pretty wild in a horrifyingly comical way. Toilet paper is important and all but... folks seem to be getting pretty zealous over it... I think we all fear being full of shit though. I’ve prepped for years so atm I’m watching everything with a bit of a shrug. I’ve always stocked the three B’s added to food and medical supplies as I’ve never felt stability of our society was a birthright. I’ve felt we were due a false flag for a while now... not saying that Covid19 is false btw... but it’s a convenient scapegoat for that good old criminal behaviours consequences we see everywhere and everywhen from our “betters”.
A bio weapon off the reservation seems a pretty decent example of a horrifying reason for markets to collapse and a bit of reshaping.... couldn’t be those pesky “enemy’s of freedom” we call... everyone against western hegemonies interest. ... I mean the jihadi is sooo 2010 right? The towers are a distant memory so here’s the new thing.... and it may well get outta hand. But yeah, it’s looking like a wild ride is inbound.
Ain’t skeered or even remotely panicked though. As I said... we’ve been overdue a shit show for a while now. Shelter in place fer now, if government over reaches then bug out to the woods where the fishing is good and the hunting is even better. Got woodland just for that purpose... as I said, been preparing for a while passively. Woodland has always been a stable investment. Get away and the whole shit show roll on sans my ass being about. Worse case is I’m wrong and it’s all nothing and...oh no... I spend a couple months fishing, hunting, drinking, and reading... that’d be tragic.

I absolutely agree with your sentiments in your comment mudcat. The panic we are seeing is kind of overboard in a lot of ways, but it makes for some good comedy material lol.

Thanks:)

Now let's wait for the Koch brother whale to give you a $1000 shit stream worth of bot votes. while down voting anyone they don't like.

come one, show the philanthropy!

Dude, this really is a shit post lol.

that makes my comment all the more relevant ;)

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