ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

My life is filled with a feeling of despondency.
I don't know if I used the word right. I met it for the first time today and it carried almost everything I had in mind to write.

Despondency.
I feel like I am getting it all right and doing the best of everything I can. But the next minute, I feel like I am doing nothing.

I feel like there's so much I need to do, to learn but yet I sit ignoring them all.
I feel this almost every day.

I am exhausted. I'm procrastinating a lot.
I think of a thing to do and I begin to have this dangerous conversation with myself.

I tell myself a later time would be perfect for it and when the later time comes and I am still not able to do it, I ask myself,
"Must you always listen to me? You just have to do your own thing your way sometimes."
I don't know where this voice usually comes from but it engages me almost every time there's a thing to do.
Aside from these two and a few other challenges that come with 'adulting', my life is good.

I have done more beautiful photographs these past few weeks than I have ever in the last few years.
I used to take photographs and then look for the stories in them to tell. But now, I have stories before I make them and it's been wonderful.

I'm happy with my writing even though there's still so much work to do.
It gladdens my heart that I have never missed out on even the worst of days.
I've been learning a few skills and I'm still seeking out for more opportunities to learn.

I am open to learning anything that'll improve me intellectually, emotionally, financially, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

I've been trying to keep up with the happenings in the world although I've not been consistent with this.
I find myself feeling more confident than ever. Celebrating myself more than I beat her up.
I'm beginning to build my own opinions about things too.

I've had some intellectual discussions with a few people in the past few days and I was amazed at how much I have grown.

And just two days ago, I started talking to a 2 and 8-year-old about sex.
I had never had to do this until there was an urgent need to do so.
I will write elaborately on this soon.

The thing is, I'm having a good life despite some bad times. And I look forward to more of it.
I'm so glad you read me again today.
Thanks and God bless you.