Raj, you beat me to it with the praise and appreciation for this ballad - but you didn't mention the photo at the end, so I get to say #AWESOME photo!!! The notes on napkins at the bedside of the dying man - what a powerful image - what an immense effort to capture and preserve his words, at the end.
I especially love this:
His memory may have been wobbly.
He did speak of abnormal things:
of acrobats with fast peristalsis
and wombats wearing fortunes in bling.
You have a gift for contrasting the darkest moments with the "nonsensical," which ultimately makes as much sense as anything.
I love the dispute (unspoken!) about the K vs the S.
One hallmark of great poetry and prose is the author's #ear. At a writer's workshop, way back when, @rhondak and I despaired over efforts to help a certain "gregory" write prose that didn't sound like square wooden wheels. His grammar was precise and correct, his sentences complete, but his prose so stilted, readers couldn't engage with his characters.
Some things cannot be taught. You have the "ear," @owasco, and the gift!
I worked really hard on this Carol! (read my comment above to raj) It took forever. I posted nothing else all week because this is all I did.
I'm delighted with how people have responded to it, the best reward there is. It's interesting that you chose this part
to highlight, because that was one of the other bits that came out that way as a freewrite and never needed changing. The freewritten parts contain the magic ingredients, hen the writer has to get all the magical ingredients to work together to cast a spell. Something like that. I could use another cup of coffee. xo
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I mean below, read my comment to raj below
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I remember that certain "gregory" and his square wheels....
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The napkin at the end was just the icing on the cake.
i din't know what to say.
It was so sad... even I have my moments (as big burly bloke) king of writing torturous scenes, but this ending made me cry, I'm jut a kitten really ! ;-)
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oh my I just saw this comment! It made me cry too.
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