A Tale of Two Halves - @theinkwell Fantasy Short Story

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago

Thanks c-squared 👍🙂🤗

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carolkean (66) · 5 years ago

Ooooh the tree scene!!! You must have read the latest science studies on how trees actually do communicate with each other through their root system, but if you didn't, you already knew it intuitively. You show it happening in ways only fiction can, making it more real than science can. Erin drinks of the water and lets his mind reach out.... a rhythm builds... The trees at the base of the keep swayed in time with the rhythm of my incantation as I felt the trees meld with me fully. My arms were as wood, solid yet mutable, strong yet flexible. and I stood immutable like an ancient sycamore, stalwart, calm and unmovable. The guard's sword bending against the teak of my midsection.
The magic!
SPOILER ALERT if anyone reads comments before posts:
This part is goosebumpy awesome:
Elinair only came from the deeps of the woods in the direst need, and I had only met the mare once before when the Gretilins of Mermerln swamp had amassed to burn the sacred forest of Greenfolk.
"Jump my love."
And the forest welcoming Erin, uncle, and soulmate... I want to go there!
This is why I devoured fantasy in my childhood. I knew where I wanted to go, and stories like yours took me there.
Bravo!

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carolkean (66) · 5 years ago

If any editor or critic ever accuses you of "purple prose," take it as a compliment. This!

The world around her blurred. The mottled russet of bark flashed by as the whistling wind blew through her hair. Bright green leaves smiled a thousand triumphs in a sudden sunburst from a break in the clouds.

While it's true that some prose may be overly purple in the hands of novice writers, this is sublime.

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago

Thanks, I instinctually felt that it felt right and also good writing. Mainly because I'm trying to describe the world from the perspective of a wood elf who lives directly connected to nature in a fundamental and magical level.

The leaves really do dance and smile for the sun in an elf's perception... and if I'm honest, for me too on one of my more mentally effusive days 🙂 😂😆

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago (edited)

You're my saviour with these comments Carol.

I thought it was going to be another long story with many hours in the writing, and editing, where the only comments I got was a two word spammy 'good post' and an automated message from our lovely resident 'definetly not fun' demental Christian spam attack team.

You must have read the latest science studies on how trees actually do communicate with each other through their root system.

I'd read something about that on the internet but it wasn't in my mind as I wrote, well maybe subconsciously.

And the forest welcoming Erin, uncle, and soulmate... I want to go there!

Me too. And as I was coming to the end of the story I felt a powerful compulsion for Erin to save his uncle, for him to bring him into his druidic world where sorrows evaporate like melting dew in the morning. Tolkien is the master at creating this feeling of timeless joy through the magic of elven realms, lothlorien being the one that springs to mind. I always loved those sections of his books where they're lifted out of danger and seemingly time, to these divine places of magic.

This is why I devoured fantasy in my childhood. I knew where I wanted to go, and stories like yours took me there.
Bravo!

Thank you for that lovely compliment. To be included in the annals of fantasists that sparked that great escapism is high praise indeed.

I also devoured fantasy novels as a kid and my claim to fantasy fame is that I've read lord of the rings over 10 times, crazy I know. I also loved Ursula le guine earthsea, Terry brooks shanara books, anything by various authors in the dnd forgotten realms settings - but particularly - RA Salvatore and his drittz dourden books.

Escapism through fantasy fiction was a big part of my childhood as a died in the wool introvert. I still love reading fantasy and an currently on a book of shirt stories by Joe Abercrombie.

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carolkean (66) · 5 years ago

Your response to my reply is itself worthy of a whole new post, Raj, with a brief memoir on an introvert's childhood being peopled with fictional characters, and a list of your favorite books, and why you love the fantasy genre. Now I need to read everything on your list!

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago

ha ha, I just re-read my comment to see if I could actually make a post out of it - which I might still - and I saw this typo 'and my cousin to game is that I've read lord of the rings over 10 times' 😆😆

That's what you get for writing comments on your phone at 3am in the morning. It's corrected now to read:

I also devoured fantasy novels as a kid and my claim to fantasy fame is that I've read lord of the rings over 10 times, crazy I know.

As to long and meaningful comments, you were my teacher! You always write real comments from the heart that actually respond to the content creators work. It is a sign of passion for writing that is not in everyone's make up. Definitely an editors trait.

Glad to have you here at The Ink Well carol!

P.s. check your twitter. I sent you a message about an opportunity that's available at The Ink Well. Nothing serious, just something that you might wanna look at and consider :)

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chireerocks (72) · 5 years ago

@raj808, There are many people and cultures who believe upon Magical Forests and Speaking Trees, who knows nature holds so many secrets. Stay blessed.

Posted using Partiko Android

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago

There are many people and cultures who believe upon Magical Forests and Speaking Trees

Yes, there are so many legends and mythology around this archtype of nature coming alive. In England there is the legend of the green man, a kind of personification of the woods and nature.

I feel very connected to the mystery of nature and that came out in this story :)

Glad it resonated with you :)

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chireerocks (72) · 5 years ago

Diversification Of Myths or may be Truths. Keep writing wonderful pieces brother. Stay blessed.

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owasco (67) · 5 years ago

Oh this is a wonderful story. I just love it. The incantations, the old man saved after risking his life for someone who did not remember him at all, the magic! Excellent.

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago

Thank you so much @owasco.

I've been waiting and looking out for your poem in response to last week's prompt. I know what it is like when the inspiration doesn't flow so I'm not trying to put pressure on you.

I was just looking forward to reading it.

This story really awakened my love of writing fantasy fiction! It flowed easily and the magic, and mystacism just kinda developed organically. not usual for me as I usually plan a lot with fiction.

Thanks for reading :) Glad you enjoyed it

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owasco (67) · 5 years ago

Oh the inspiration is flowing! I've been working hard on it! I haven't worked on anything else for the past five days!!! I could tinker with it forever, so I've decided to deem it done and I'm now finishing up the post. I hope to post it tomorrow. I spent some time trying to figure out how to record myself reading it, but after several unproductive hours of that I finally gave up. Maybe I will do a second post of my reading it. We'll see. I do need to step up my game on that end of things. How do you do it?

That's amazing that your story just flowed out! It's really good! Very beautiful, those incantations are fabulous! I really loved those.

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago (edited)

Looking forward to reading it!

I spent some time trying to figure out how to record myself reading it, but after several unproductive hours of that I finally gave up. Maybe I will do a second post of my reading it. We'll see. I do need to step up my game on that end of things. How do you do it?

I'll break it down step by step.

I use an app on my phone in a quiet place to read the poem out and record it. I've got an android phone and the app is simply called 'voice recorder' find it on play store (or an apple equivalent).
After recording I copy it from my phone on to the desktop of my computer and then upload it to Soundcloud (https://soundcloud.com/), then share the soundcloud link you can find in the share section under the embed section. If you put that in a post on steem it will look like the one I've shared below :) P.s. you may have to sign up for a soundcloud account but you can do it easily with a google email/account and the basic package gives you more than enough space to upload hundreds of poems.

The really complicated ones I make with music in the background require extra steps, suing sound engineering software that I'd have to make a full on tutorial post to explain or I'd be here typing all night ;-) and you'd probably get lost with what I was saying.

But I have just checked and the two step method I outlined above definitely works! I just uploaded an mp3 file from my voice recorder software to soundcloud to double check and it uploaded to fine. as long as you record it as a wav file or mp3 it will work :)

Here's an old one of mine I'm not sure you will have heard called 'A song to the sentient earth.'

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owasco (67) · 5 years ago

Thank you so much! I have an android phone too. Will definitely try this out.
Nice poem. Now back to slaving away at my ballad!

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owasco (67) · 5 years ago

I really love those incantations! Calling the growth to follow the water he trickled down the outside wall, the prison crumbling, his floating out to the unicorn and his true love on pillows of magical air. I adore this story.

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago

awww thanks again. It is honestly comments like this and the thought that their are people who genuinely like my stories here that keeps me writing on steem!

I loved that scene with the roots as well. Again, it just came to me unplanned as I was writing, and I was thinking how does he escape. it wasn't really until that point that I decided he was going to unleash some serious wrath of the god's natural forces.

I liked the way it turned out and my only self criticism is that I would have liked to spend an hour or two more filling the story out with some really gruesome battle scenes as they escaped the city.

Unfortunately, when I was writing it I didn't have an extra hour to spare to get it perfect :(

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owasco (67) · 5 years ago

My question is why did he not work some of his magic instead of dropping his weapon? Does he get his weapon back? Maybe the old man could have rescued it somehow, and that's how he got all beat up.

I answered my first question by thinking that his love had to activate her magic for him to be able to activate his. Working together they could not be stopped, but he alone is powerless. something like that.

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stormlight24 (66) · 5 years ago

Oh man, what a story. Best short story I've read lately. I really like that you have introduced all the elements of fiction that are necessary through your storytelling. You gave names to everything and everybody, wrote poems. Fantastic from start to finish. The talent you possess is fascinating.

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago (edited)

Thanks dude, I appreciate your feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed this tale of mystery and magic 🙂

You gave names to everything and everybody, wrote poems. Fantastic from start to finish.

I am in the middle of writing a fantasy novel, and hope to get it finished sooner rather than later. Perhaps one day I'll be able to announce its publication and availability in shops on steem 😂🙂

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