If you put a gun to my head and ask for my wallet, I might give it to you unless I'm feeling frisky.

In other words, you will take the "best" action to most effectively PROTECT YOURSELF (self is prioritized above family and property).

If I got a family member who is about to catch a beating. I might consider why it's happening to them, the severity, who is doing it, and whether or not it's called for. Perhaps I'll let it be only half a beating.

In other words, you will take the "best" action to most effectively PROTECT YOUR FAMILY (if only from "half" a beating, while mitigating risk to yourself).

If someone punches me or slaps me in the face, perhaps there will be a moment of self-reflection. Maybe I give them a pass, or maybe I treat them accordingly.

You seem to understand that impulsively reacting in anger is not always the "best" way to PROTECT YOURSELF (or your family, or your property).

I can be flexible and reasonable.

Because you've learned that is most often the best way to PROTECT YOURSELF (and your family, and your property).