Weird addiction: Memoir of a Ketchup addict

When people think about addiction, the mind piers to something ostensibly harmful or dangerous like cocaine, marijuana or meth. In Webster Merriam dictionary, addiction was defined as a strong or harmful need to regularly have something(such as a drug) or do something(such as gamble). My ketchup addiction falls in that category and while not being life threatening, it really is embarrassing.

Being an addict of any kind really sucks but at least people addicted to alcohol, weed and similar substances, have enough attention. For a ketchup addict, there's really no clear path to redemption and most often than not, your problem is belittled.

My ketchup addiction started as a joke back in 2002 I believe. I was about ten years old when I had my first hotdog, and this food combination from heaven had ketchup spruced on that sausage like it was its birthday. The first taste ushered my tastebuds into a world it had never been to before and beyond that, all I could think of was this red gift from the gods.

I know you're probably thinking, "dude, it's just ketchup" and you'd be right for thinking that but that's also how I feel about weed, alcohol and various other legitimate addictions out there. When that tomato paste touches my tongue, I feel a weird sensation that I can only describe as orgasmic.

If you think this addiction is funny, well, you're absolutely right and people in my life never fail to remind me. There are the slightly funny but sarcastic remarks about how "Belemo puts ketchup on ketchup then adds ketchup to improve the taste" or every now and then when I'm offered a glass of water and my sister suggests if I need ketchup on it.

I've probably heard all the possible ketchup jokes in existence and despite all these, I still take my ketchup like it's nobody's business. I always have a stash of ketchup hiding somewhere in the house and despite my absolute love for it, I'm always open to share it.

So far so good, I haven't experienced any wholesome effect on my health but I've noticed that overindulgence actually causes bowel movement and a mild case of diarrhea. It's a weird addiction that I'm working my way out of and well, I like to think everyone has theirs.